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copy i TANDARD AND MINOR DRAMA, 

* No. 278. 

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PENN HAPGOOD 



OR, THE 



Yankee - Schoolmaster. 



{DRAMA.) 



WITH CAST OF CHARACTERS, ENTRANCES, AND EXITS, RELATIVE POSITIONS OF 

THE PERFORMERS ON THE STAGE, DESCRIPTION OF COSTUMES AND 

THE WHOLE OF THE STAGE bCSINESS, CAREFULLT 

MARKED FROM THE MOST APPROVED 

ACTING COPT. 



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AMES' PUBLISHING CO, 



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RO. -v *• '• 

DRAMAS. 

2 A Dfteperate Game 3 2 

164 After Ten Years 7 5 

39 A Liie's Revenge ^ 6 

43 Arrau de Baugh i 5 

100 Aurora Floyd 7 2 

125 Auld Robin Gray 25c 13 8 

89 Beauty of Lyons 11 2 

113 Bill petrick 7 3 

226 Brae, the Poor House Girl.... 4 4 

14 Brigands of Calabria 6 1 

272 Bevond Pardon 7 r> 

160 Conn; or, Love's Victory 11 3 

268 Clearing the Mists 5 3 

161 Dora 5 2 

60 Driven to the Wall 10 3 

152 Driven from Home 7 4 

173 East Lynne 8 7 

143 Emigrant's Daughter 8 3 

176 Factory Girl 6 3 

162 Fielding Manor 9 6 

255 Gertie's Vindication 3 3 

117 Hal Hazard, 25c 10 3 

207 Heroic Dutchman of '76 8 3 

52 Henry Granden 11 8 

76 How He Did It 3 2 

141 Hidden Treasures 4 2 

26 Hunter of the Alps 9 4 

191 Hidden Hand 15 7 

194 Lights and Shadows ot the 

Great Rebellion, 25c 10 5 

3 Lady of Lyons.... 12 5 

9 Lady Audley's Secret 6 4 

261 Lost in London 6 4 

46 Man and Wife 12 7 

227 Maud's Peril 5 3 

211 Midnight Mistake 6 2 

251 Millie, the Quadroon 4 I 

163 Miriam's Crime 5 2 

91 Michael Erie 8 3 

36 Miller of Derwent Water 5 2 

34 Mistletoe Bough 7 3 

229 Mountebanks (The) 6 2 

223 Old Honesty 5 2 

81 Old Phil's Birthday- 5 3 

a5 Outcast's Wife 12 3 

83 Out on the World 5 4 

196 Oath Bound „ 6 2 

29 Painter of Ghent 5 3 

18 Poacher's Doom 8 3 

5 Phyllis, the Beggar Girl 6 3 

10 Reverses 12 6 

45 Rock Allen 5 3 

79 Spy of Atlanta. 25c 14 3 

275 Simple Silas 6 3 

266 Sweetbricr 11 5 

144 Thekla 9 4 

67 The False Friend 6 1 

97 The Fatal Blow 7 1 

119 The Forty-Niners 10 4 



so. m. r. 

212 The Dutch Recruit 2 r ic 14 3 

92 The Gentletnan.in Black 9 4 

112 The New Magdalen 8 3 

71 The Reward of Crime 5 3 

105 Through' Snow and Sunshine 6 4 

201 Ticket of Leave Man 9 3 

193 Toodles 7 2 

277 The Musical 'Japtain 15 2 

200 Uncle Tom's Cabin 15 7 

121 Will-o'-the-Wisp, 9 4 

41 Won at Last 7 3 

192 Zion 7 4 

TEMPERANCE PLAYS. 

73 At Last 7 1 

75 Adrift 5 4 

187 Aunt Dinah's Pledge 6 3 

254 Dot; the Miner's Daughter... 9 5 

202 Drunkard [The] 13 5 

185 Drunkar i's Warning 6 3 

189 Drunkard's Doom 15 5 

181 Fifteen Years of a Drunk- 
ard's Life 13 4 

183 Fruits of the Wine Cup 6 3 

104 Lost 2 

146 Our Awful Aunt 4 4 

53 Out in the Streets 6 4 

51 Rescued 5 3 

59 Saved 2 3 

102 Turn of the Tide 7 4 

63 Three Glasses a Day 4 2 

62 Ten Nights in a Bar-Rooin... 7 3 

58 Wrecked 9 3 

COMEDIES. 

168 A Pleasure Trip 7 3 

136 A Legal Holiday 5 3 

124 An Afflicted Family 7 5' 

257 Caught in the Act 7 3 

248 Captured 6 4 

178 Caste 5 3 

199 Home 4 3 

174 Love's Labor Not Lost 3 3 

149 New Years in N. Y 7 6 

37 Not So Bad After All 6 5 

237 Not Such a Fnul as He Looks 6 3 

126 Our Daughters 8 6 

265 Pug and the Baby 5 3 

114 Passions 8 4 

264 Prof. James' Experience 

Teaching Country School 4 3 

219 Rags and Bottles 4 1 

239 Scale with Sharps aud Flats.. 3 2 

221 Solon Shingle 14 2 

262 Two Bad Boys 7 3 

87 The Biter Bit 3 2 

249 |2,000 Reward 2 

TRAGEDIES. 
16 The Serf - « 



fi 



PENN HAPGOOD 



OR THE 

YANKEE SCHOOLMASTER, 
A DRAMA 

IN THREE ACTS; 
Gen. B. ChasBi 

From a story written by J. W. Trowbridge* 







TO WHICH IS ADDED 

A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUMES-CAST OF THE CHARACTEtw- 

ENTRANCES AND EXITS-RELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE 

^EIUUIUIERS ON THE STAGE, AND THE WHOLE 

OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 



ftiUrcd according to act of Congress in the year 1890, h, 
AMES PUBLISHING CO. 
\ tli eifrcc of the Librarian of Congress at Wiuhington, 



-0 



CLYDE, OHIO: 

AMES' PUBLISHING CO, 



PENN HAPGOOD; OB, THE YANKEE SCI100L-MASTEB. 
■ 

CAST OF CHABACTEBSA 

Penn Hapgood A Yankee schoolmaster 

Mr. Villars An old clergyman 

Mr. Stackridge A farmer— loyal to the Union 

Carl Minnkvich A young Dutchman 

Gus Bythewood A wealthy young Southerner 

Lysander Sfroavl A colonel in the Confederate army 

Silas Ropes A captain in the Confederate army 

Jim Gad A private in the Confederate army 

Dan Pepperill A tool for the confederates 

Toby A faithful old negro 

Miss Virginia Villars The clergyman's danghter 

Salina Lysander' s wife 

"Hrs. Speowl ... .A poor lone widder 

Soldiers, etc., etc. 



Time in representation— 2 houra 



STA GE DIRECTIONS. 

S., means Bight; I,., Left; R. h., Right Hand; L. h., Left Hand; o., t Vntro; s. r.; 
[2d e.,] Second Entrance; u. e., Upper Entrance; m. n., Middle boor; v., the Flat 
».*., Door in Elat; k. c, Kightof Centre; i,.c, Leftof Centre. 

B. k. c. c. i„ o. r „ 

»% The reader is supposed to be upon the stage facing the audience. 



TMP92-008823 



PENN HAPGOOD; 

-OR THE— 

YANKEE SCHOOLMASTER. 

ACT I. 

SCENE I — A wood — school-house at R. 

Enter, Carl Minnevich and Penn Hapgood from school-house, 

cautiously. 

Carl, (looking off l. — turns to Penn, with hand raised) Sh! 

Penn. What is it, Carl? 

Carl. Shpeak very low ! Dou'd you see them vellows coming 
up the road ? 

Penn. Yes ; who are they ? 

Carl. The wigilance committee's men ! They have some tar in a 
kettle und I hear some of 'em say, "Hun, poys, und pring some 
fodders !" 

Penn. (excitedly) Tar and feathers ! They have threatened it 
hut they will not dare. 

Carl. They vill dare do anything; hut you shall prevent 'em ! 
(takes revolver from under jacket) See vat I haf prought you! 
Stackridge sent it. 

Penn. Hide it! hide it! lie offered it to me himself. I told 
him I could not take it. 

Carl. He said maype ven you schmell tar und see fedders, you 
vill change your mind. 

Penn. I believe in a different creed from Mr. Stackridge's, honest 
man that he is. 1 shall not resist evil; but overcome evil with good, if 
I can. If I cannot, I shall sutler it. 

Carl. You show you vill shoot some of 'em und they vill let yon 
go. Shooting vill do some of them villains some goot. (offers revol- 
ver to him) You take it ? 

Penn. No; such weapons are not for me. 

Carl. Very veil! Then you come mit me, und I vill see dot you 
vas git avay from dis blace. Dot ish pest, I suppose. 

Penn. No, no, Carl ! I may as well meet these men first as last* 



4 PEKN SAP GOOD. 

I thank you for your kindness; but I think it best that I should try 
and persuade them by kind words, rather than by force of arms. 

Carl. Kind vords vill not do mit dose vellovvs. I vill go right 
avay quick und pring help. (exit R. 

Penn. I expect I acted foolish in not taking the revolver when 
Carl offered it to me. What il those vlllians should undertake to 
carry out their threats? Ah, these are trying times indeed ! My 
school is nearly broken up, and my stay here in Tennessee ishecom- 
ing not only useless, but dangerous. But let come what may, I will 
stand by the Union ! (exit into school-house 

Enter, l., Silas Kor-ES, with stub broom, followed by Jim Gad with 
kettle of tar, and Dan Peiterill with feather-bed. 

Silas. Now, boys, git that tar and them feathers ready, and I'll 
tell the Yankee abolitionist that we're 'bout ready fur him. (poking 
head in school-house door) Hey, in there! you hound of an aboli- 
tionist — 

Enter, Carl, r., on a run. 

— Stop, stop! Ketch that Dutchman ! (Carl runs out l., followea 
by Jim and Dan) I guess we'll jest give that fellow a dose, too, 
Avhile we're at it. 

Enter, Jim and Dan, l., with Caul. 

Jim. (to Carl) What have you been doing, you rascal? Come, 
speak out ! 

Carl. I don'd know ! I tinks lie (pointing to Silas) vas vant 
to run a race mit me. 

Silas. A race, you fool ! Didn't you bear me tell you to stop? 

Carl. Did you say sthop? Dot ish very queer, ven it sounded so 
much as if you said sthep— so 1 sthepped shust so fast as 1 could. 

Silas, (pointing R.) What was you thar at that winder fur? 

Carl. Vatvincler? 

Silas. Ot the school-house. 

Carl. Oh, to pe sure! 1 vas there pecause I left mine pooks in 
there veek behind last, und I vas going to git 'em ; but 1 saw some- 
pody vas in there, und I vas afraid. 

Silas. Wasn't it the school-master? 

Carl. I shouldn't pe very much surprised if it vas the school- 
master. 

Silas, (shaking Carl) You lying rascal ! What did you say to 
him? (Carl looks from one to the other) Why don't you speak? 

Carl. Vat did you say ? 

Silas. 1 said you, lying rascal — 

Carl. Dot vas not mine name, und 1 finks you vas shpeaking 
mit dis man. (points to Dan, icho is lying on bed 

Silas. Dan Pepperill, what are you stretching your lazy bones 
thar fur? You don't act as if your heart was in this yer act of 
dooty we're 'bout to perform any more'n as if you was a northern 
mudsill yourself. 

Dan, (rising) Wal, the truth is, the schoolmaster has alius 
treated me well, and though I hate his principals — 

Silas. You don't hate his principles, nuther! You're more'n 
half an abolitionist yourself! (raising hand) And I swear to ffosh, 
if you don't do your part now— 



PENN HAPGOOD. 5 

Pan. I will! I'm a— going to— though, a? I said, lie lias alius 
used me w ell, and — 
Silas. Shet up ! 

Kicks at Dan, hj7io catches Silas'/ooA and throws him — Dan falls on 
top oj Silas. Cakl pushes Jim, who falls on top of Dan — then 
snatches up bed, and throwing it on Jim, tries to keep them all 
down. 

— (freeina Itimself — shakes fist at Dan) What did you pitch into me 
fur? 

Dan. (to Jim) What did you pitch into me fur? 

Jim. (to Cakl) What did you push and jump on to me fur? 

Enter, Penn, from school-house. 

Carl, (laughing) Plessme! I tinks clot vas all for shport. 

tolas, (in front of Penn) Thought you'd come out without 
bein' fi tched, did ye? Very accommodating in you, to be sure. 

Penn. Gentlemen, allow me to pass. 

Jim. Wnl, you can't pass till we've settled a small account with 
you that's been standing a little too long a'ready. (opening bed-tick 
Dan Pepperill, git that tar ready! Come, show your sperit! 

(exit, Carl, l. 

Penn. You, too, among my enemies, Daniel? 

Dan. (stammering) I own — I own — you've alius used me well, 
Mr. Hapgood — but 1 hate your principles. 

Silas. Look here, Dan Pepperill, you had better shet your yaup ! 
Bring that kittle here! (to Penn) Now, mister schoolmaster, peel 
off them clo'es mighty quick, if you don't want 'em peeled off fur 
je! 

Penn. I insist on knowing what I have done to merit this treat- 
ment. 

Silas. Wnl, that I don't mind tellin' ye, fur we've all night fur 
this little job before us. Dan Pepperill, stand up here! 

(Dan comes icith his knees shaking 

Penn. Is it j'ou, Daniel, who is to bear witness against me? 

(Dan rolls up his eyes and groans 

Silas, (slapping Dan on back) Come! Straighten them knees 
of your'n and be a man. Yes, mister school-master, Dan is a going 
to bear witness agin you. He has turned from the error of his 
ways, and now his noble Southern heart is a burnin' to take ven- 
geance on all the enemies of his beloved country, ain't it, Dan? 
(slapping hint on back) Say yes! 

Dan. Oli, Lord — yes! What Mr. Ropes says is perfectly — per- 
fectly — je?' so ! 

Silas. Your heart is a burnin', ain't it? 

Dan. Ye — yes — I be durned if it ain't! 

Silas. You sincerely repent of your past misdeeds in 'sociating 
With niggers and giving 'em liquor when they couldn't pay fur't, 
and promise to behave mere like a gentleman in the future, don't 
you, Dan? Say you do, mighty quick, or I'll — 

D<ni. Oh, I lepents! I — I be, durned iff don't! 

Silas, (to Pknn) And now as to you — your offense in gineral is 
bein' a Northern abolitionist. Your offense in partieuler is. not be- 
ing contented with teaohin' the day school, you must run the thine 
into the gound by settin' up a evenin' school, and offerin' to lain 



€ PENN HAP GOOD. 

readin', writin' and 'rithmetic, free gratis, to whosomever wanted to 
'tend — which is contrary to the sperit of our institootions, as you 
have been warned more'nonct. That's charge number two. Charge 
number three, is that you stand up fur the old rotten Union, and 
tell folks every chance you git, that secession — that noble right of 
Southerners — is a villainous scheme that'll ruin the South, if per- 
sisted in, and plunge the whole nation into war. Your very words. 
I believe. Can you deny it? 

Penn. Certainly not. I have said something very much like that, 
and it is my honest conviction. 

Silas. Gentleman, take notice! We will now pass on to charge 
number four and be brief, for the tar is a coolin'. 'Bout eight 
days ago, when the afore mentioned Dan Pepperill was in the waller 
of his degradation, some noble-souled sons of the South hung him 
up to air in the crotch of a tree and went home to supper, intendin' 
to come back and finish the purifying process later in the evenin'. 
But what did you do, mister school-master, but come along and take 
him down, prematoorly, and go to corruptin' him agin with your 
vile Northern principles! Didn't he, Dan? 

Dan. I — 1 dun know! 

Silas. Yes, you do know, too! Didn't he corrupt you? Say 
yes! 

Dan. Ye — yes ! 

Silas. And if I hadn't took ye in season you'd have returned to 
the mire; wouldn't you?? 

Dan. I suppose! would, I be durned if I don't! 

Silas. Wal, now! Hurry up, Dan, and tell us all this Northern 
agitator said to you that night. 

Dan. Oh, Lord ! My memory is so short! 

Penn. My friends, let me spare him the pain of bearing witness 
against me. I recall perfectly well everything 1 said to him that 
night — that it was a shan.e that euch outrages as had been committed 
on him should be tolerated in civilized society. 1 told him it was 
partly his own fault that such a state of things existed. That it was 
owing to the ignorance and degradation of your poor whites, that a 
barbarous system is allowed to nourish and tyranize over you. 

Jim. (coming toward Penn) Poor whites, did he say? 

Silas. Let him go on ! let him proceed ! What did you mean by 
"barbarous system?" 

Penn. I meant the system which makes it a crime to teach a man 
to read; a punishable offense to befriend the poor and down-trod- 
den; a system — 

Silas. Wal, I reckon that'll do fur one spell. You've said 
more'n enough to convict jou and to earn a halter 'stead of a mild 
coat of tar and feathers. 

Penn. I am well aware that I can expect no mere}- at your 
hands, so I thought 1 might as well be plain with you. 

Silas. And plain enough you've been, 1 sw'ar to gosh ! Boys, 
strip him! (Jim swings forward 

Penn. {throwing up hand) Wait a moment ! What i have said 
has been to tree my mind and to save Daniel trouble. Now, allow 
me to speak a few words in my own defense. I have committed no 
crime against your laws; if I have, why not let the laws punish 
me ? 

Jim. We take the laws into our own hands scch times as these. 
You're an abolitionist, and that is enough ! 

Penn. If I do not believe slavery to be a good thing, it is not my 



PENN HAP GOOD. 7 

fault. But one thing I will declare — I have never inrerfcrred with 
your iu.-titutions in any way at all dangerous to you, or injurious to 
your slaves. 1 have not made them discontented; but have coun- 
seled them to be patient and faithful to their masters. I came among 
you, a peaceable man, to teach school, and I have tried to do good, 
and harm no one. With this motive, I opened an evening school 
for poor whites. How many men here have an education ? Iiow 
many can read and write! Not many, I am sure. 

Silas. What's the odds so long as they're men of the true sperit? 
I can read for one; and as for the rest, what good would it do 'em 
to be edecatcd ? 'Twould only make 'em jes' sech low, sneakin', 
thievin' white slaves like the greasy mechanics at the North. 

Penn. The white slaves are not at the North. Education makes 
free nun. If you, who threaten me with violence to-night, had the 
common school education of the North, you would not be engaged, 
in such business; you would be ashamed of assaulting a peaceable 
man on account of Ids opinions; you would — 

Jim. We have hearn enough ! (runs at Penn, with broom-stick 
raised to strike) Down with him! Strip him! 

(Penn runs out l., followed by Jim 

Silas, (sua tching up bed) Hang him ! Dan Pepperill, be a bring- 
in' that kittle, and be mighty quick, or I'll — 

Dan. (taking kettle) I — I will! I'm comin' ! (exit, Silas, l.) 
I hate this kind of business! I be durned if I don't! (exit, l. 

Enter, Mr. Stackkidge mid Carl, r. 

Mr. Stackridge. Now, where's your tar-and-feathering party? 
See. here, Dutchey, you hain't been foolin', have you? 

Carl. I vish it vas notting but fooling. Ve haf come too late — 
the villains haf tooken him oft ! 

Mr. S. (picking up feathers) Feathers! feathers! Carl, you 
are right! Now, which way have they gone? That's the question. 

Carl. Hark! (looking off l.) Vats dot! I see a man coming dis 
vay! 

Enter, Dan, l. 

— {to Stackridgk) Dot's von of dose willians! 

Mr. S. Dan Pepperill, you scoundrel! What have you been do- 
ing to the school-master? Answer me this minute or I'll — 

Dan. Oh, don't! don't! I'll answer — I'll tell everything — only 
give me a chance ! 

Mr. S. Be quick, then, and tell no lies. 

Dan. (knees shaking) 1 ain't to blame — I'll tell ye that to begin 
with. I*ve been jest kicked about from pillar to post and from post 
to pillar, till 1 don't know who's my friends and who ain't. I 
reckon more ain't than is. 

Mr. S. That's neither here nor there! Where is Hapgood? 
That's what I want, to know. 

Dan. As the school-master has alius used me well, I don't mind 
tellin' ye, and mebbe if ye hurry up, you can help him out of a bad 
scrape. Silas Popes and Jim Gad 'has got him down thar in the 
holler (points off l.) and are smearin' on the tar, and — 

Mr. S. The scoundrels! How dare they treat a peaceable man 
in such an outrageous manner? We must go to his assistantce at 
once. Come, Dan Pepperill, lead the way ! 



$ PENN HAPGOOD. 

Dan. {trembling) I — I would lrke to; but they'll kill — 
. Carl, {taking hold of Dan) Brace up, Dan, don'd be a cowyard ! 
{presents revolver) Now, shtep ! 

Dan. Oh, Lord, I'll step! I be durned if I don't! 

{all exit quickly, l. 

SCENE II— Street. 

Enter, Lysander Sprowl, l. Gus Bythewood, r. — gazing at each 
other — surprised. 

Lysander. Gus Bythewood ! 

Gus. Lysander Sprowl, as sure as I am born ! What arc 
you doing back here? Are you not in great danger? 

Lys. That depends ! When Tennessee seceeds I shall be sate 
enough. I am going to have a commission in the Confederate army, 
and that'll be protection from anything that might happen on ac- 
count of old scores. I'm going to raise a company in this very 
place, and let the law touch me if it can. 

Gus. I declare, Sprowl, you are looking quite like a gentle- 
man. You must have abandoned your old habits. 

Lys. That's just what I've done, Gus. A gentleman I'm bound 
to be. I'll tell you, we're going to have the greatest Confederacy 
ever was ! 

Gus. I am glad to see you so enthusiastic. 

Lys. Six months from now, you'll see the Yankees groveling at 
our feet, begging for admission. We'll have Washington and all of 
the North we want and defy the world. The slave trade will be 
re-opened; Yankee ships will bring us eargos of splendid niggers; 
not a man in the South butjll be able to own three or four, they'll be 
so cheap. 

Gus. Your reasoning seems plausible, and yet, it is not always 
good policy, you know, to "count the chickens before they are 
hatched." Have you seen your wife yet? 

Lys. I wrote her 1 was coming. 1 must have a talk with her to- 
night. What 1 want just now — and must have — is a little money, 
and she's got to raise it for ine ; and what she can't raise, I shall 
look to some of you wealthy slave-holders to furnish. 

Gus. Very well! See what you can do, and if you should lack 
a few dollars in order to carry out your plans successfully, call on 
me; but remember — you must not betray me to your wile's people. 

Lys. Never fear about that ! {exit Gus, L.) It depends' a great 
deal on his willingness to "shell out" whether I do or not. (exit R. 

SCENE III — Neatly furnished sitting-room in house of the Villars. 
Sofa l. — rocking-chair a.— table c. — two chairs l. 

Enter, Toby, c. 

Toby. Whar's dat ar boy took hissef to I'd like ter know? I'll 
cl'ar away de table, an' he'll lose his supper, if he stays auuder 
minute! Debbie take me it I don't! 

Enter, Me. Villars, r. 

Mr. Villars. The "debble" will take you sure enough, I'm 
afraid, Toby, if you appeal to him so often. 



PENN HAPGOOD. 9 

Toby. Laws, massa, de debble knows I ain't in earnest. He 
knows better'n to take me at my word, fo' I speaks his name widout 
no kind ob respec' all us, I does. Here's yer ol' easy cha'r fo' you, 
rnassa Villars. Now you jes' make yerse'f comfortable. 

Mr. V. (sitting) Thank you! Where is Carl to-night,- Toby? 

Toby. Dat ar' de question, massa! Mos' I can say is, he ain't 
whar he ought to be — a eatin' ob bis supper. Chocolate's all a bilin' 
away to nnffln' ! Ketch dis chile tryin' to keep tings hot fo' his sup- 
per anuder time ! (aside) What I eber took dat ar' boy to keep 
fo' am one ob de mysteries ! 

Enter, Miss Villars, c. 

Miss Villars. Has not Carl come yet? 

Toby. He hain't come yet, Miss Jinnie, dat ar' a fac' ! 'Pears 
like sometin' happened to dat boy. I nebber knowed him to stay 
out so when dars any eatin' gwine on — fo' he's a master hand fo' his 
supper, dat boy am ! Laws, 1 hain't forgot how he laid in de vittles 
de fust night massa Penn fetched him hyar. 

Mr. V. My daughter, 1 suspect that you know more of Carl than 
we do. Has hi.' gone on some errand of yours? 

Miss V. I will tell you, lather. Carl came to me and said there 
was some mischief intended toward Penn. This was long before 
dark. He asked permission to go and see what it was. I said, 
"Go — but come right back if there is no danger." lie went, and r 
have not seen him since. 

Mr. V. (excitedly) Is this so? Why didn't you tell me before? 

Miss V. Because, father, I did not wish to make you anxious; 
but now, if you will let Toby go — 

Mr. V. (rising) I'll go myself ! My sjaff, Toby ! When I was 
out I heard voices in the direction of the school-house. 1 felt then a 
presentiment that something was happening to Penn. (Toby yets 
staff and ijiccs to him) I can control the mob — I can save him, if it 
is not too late ! (starts i.. 

Miss V. Oh, father! Are you able? 

Mr. V. Able, child? You shall see how strong I am when our 
friend is in danger ! 

Mis$ V. Let me go, then, and guide you. 

Mr. V. No, daughter: Toby will go with me. 

Toby. Yer jes' right, I'll go with you ! (starts out L.— jumping 
back into house) De debble ! De debble hisse'f, massa! 

Mr. V. The devil, Toby ? What do you mean? 

Toby, (rolling up eyes) Oh, laws bress ye, massa, it's de bery 
debble! He's come fo' dis niggah dis time sartin, 'cause I — 'cause I 
'pealed to him as you said, massa! 'Cause 1'se got de habit ob 
speakin' his name widout no kind ob 'spect. 

Mr. V. You poor old simpleton! There is no fiend except in 
your own imagination. Come, let's be going! 

Toby, (taking hold of Mr. Villars' arm) No, no, massa! He's 
dar! he'sdar! He'll cotch ole Toby, suah ! 

Mr. V. What did be see, Virginia? 

Miss V. (looking out l. j 1 don't know, father; there is certainly 
somebody or something! 

Toby. It's what I tole ye! I seed de great coarse ha'r on his 
speckled legs, an' de wings on bis back, an' a right smart bag in his 
hand to put dis niggah in! 

Miss V. It might have been Carl. 



10 PENN II AP GOOD. 

Toby. No, no! Carl don't hab scch legs as clem are! Carl don't 
hab seel) « resit bi j: large ears as dem are! (knock at door — Toby 
drops on knees) Oh Lor'! good Lor' ! lie's knockin' fo' nie now! 

(badly frightened 

Mr. V. It's a very gentle rap for the devil. It's some stranger. 

Toby, (jumping up) No, no, no! I won't say nnfiin' an' yon tole 
him I ain't to home. Say 1'se el'ared out — let' — gone — you dun' no 
whar ! 

Penn. (outside) Toby ! 

Toby, (kneeling, with hands raised) Dat's his voice! Dat are 
his voice ! 

Mr. V. Get up, you stupid nigger! It's the voice of Penn Hap- 
good ! 

Enter, Penn, with bed-tick wrapped around him, exposing arms covered 
xcith feathers. 

Miss V. Oh, Penn, is it you? What has happened? 

Penn. I have been tarred-and-feathered ! And I have been shut 
out of Mrs. Sprowl's house. This is my excuse for coming here. I 
must go somewhere, you know. 

Mr. V. And where hut here? I feared it might come to this. 
Terrible times are upon us, and you are only one of the first to 
suffer. Are you hurt? 

Penn. 1 hardly know. I beg of you don't be alarmed or troubled. 
I hope you will excuse me — I know I am a fearful object to look at, 
and didn't intend to be seen. 

Miss V. Do not be sorry that I have seen you. I see in this 
shameful disguise only the shame of those who have so cruelly 
treated you. Toby and father will help you. 

Toby. Come, massa Pl'nn, I'se an ole hand atpickin' geese, I is! 

(exit Toby and Penn, k. 

Mr. V. Terrible times these ! Terrible times! 

(exit r., leaning on staJJ 

Miss V. (sitting on sofa) Oh, how I long for the time to come — 
and I believe it will — when swift and terrible retribution will over- 
take the perpetrators of this atrocious deed ! 

Enter, Mr. Villaes, r. 

— How is he, father, much injured? 

Mr. V. He has been brutally used ; but he is now in good hands. 
Where is Salina? 

Miss V. 1 don't know. I think she must have gone out some- 
where. 

Mr. V. Gone out to-night? That is very strange! She will 
have to be told that Penn is in the house; but I think the knowledge 
of the fact ought to go no farther. Now that they have began to 
persecute him, they will never cease so long as he remains alive 
within their reach. 

Miss V. And we must conceal him? 

Mr. V. Yes, until this storm blows over, or he can be safely got 
out of the state. 

Miss V. Hark! I hear footsteps ! It must be Salina. 

Mr. V. (listens at door l. — then sits r.) No, it is a man's step. 
(Virginia becomes alarmed) Don't be agitated, my child! Mucn 
depends en our calmness and self-possession. 11' it is a visitor, you 
must admit him, and appear as hospitable as usual. 

(Virginia qoes to door. l. 



PENN II AP GOOD. U 

Enter, Gus Bythewood, l. 

Miss V. (bows to him) Mr. Bythewood, father i 

(Mr. Villars starts to rise 

Gits, (going over to him) I entreat you not to rise ! 

Mr. V. When we first heard your footsteps we thought it was 
my daughter. 

Gus. (bowing to her) Your daughter is here, Mr. "Villars. 

Miss V. He means my sister; she has gone out and we are feel- 
ing somewhat anxious about her. (hands him chair 

Gus. (sitting) Nothing can have happened to her, certainly. 

Mr. V. I have no very great fears for her safety; yet I have felt 
soiiu^ anxiety to know the meaning of the noise I heard in the direc- 
tion of the school-house an hour ago. 

Gus. (laughinq and stroking his mustache) I don't know, sir. I 
reckon, however, that the Yankee school-master has been favored 
with a little demonstration of Southern sentiment. 

Mr. V. How? Not mobbed? 

Gus. Call it what you please, sir. I think our people have been 
aroused at last; and if so, they have probably given him a lesson 
he will never forget. 

Mr. V. What do you mean by "our people?" 

Miss V. (sarcastic) He means the most chivalrous people in the 
world, among whom the innocent and defenseless are more secure 
than anywhere else on the globe. 

Gus. Precisely; but among whom obnoxious persons, dangerous 
to our institutions, cannot be tolerated. As for this affair, 1 don't 
know anything about it. Of course, 1 would never participate in a 
demonstration of the kind. 1 don't say I approve of it, and I don't 
say 1 disapprove. These are no ordinary times, Mr. Villars. The 
South is already plunged into a revolution. 

Mr. V. Indeed, I tear so! 

Gus. Fear so? I glory that it is so ! We are about to build up 
the most magnificent empire on which the sun has shone! 

Mr. V. Cemented with the blood of our own brethren ! 

Gus. There may be a little blood-shed; but not much. The 
Yankees won't tight; they are not a military people. Their armies 
Avill scatter before us, like chaff before the wind. I know you don't 
think as I do. I respect the lingering attachment you feel for the 
old Union — it is very natural ! 

Mr. V. You are very tolerant towards me, my young friend. It 
is because you consider me old, and perhaps a little childish, no 
doubt; but hear my words — you are going to build up a magnifi- 
cent empire, founded on slavery; but I tell you, the ruin and deso- 
lation of our dear country, will be your empire. And as for the 
institution you mean to perpetuate and strengthen, it will be crushed 
to atoms by the war you are bringing upon the nation. 

Gus. I was well aware of your opinions; it is useless for us to 
argue the point, and Virginia, I conceive, does not like politics. 

Enter, Salixa, c. 

3Iiss V. Why, Salina, where have you been? We have been 
wondering what had become of you. 

Salina. You need never wonder about me. I must go out and 
walk, even if I don't have time till after dark; but come, supper 



IS PENN HAP GOOD. 

has been ready this half hour, and the tea is getting cold. 

Mr. V. Oli, yes! (rising) 1 had forgotten all about supper. 
Mr. Bythewood, will you walkout and have supper with us? 

Gus. (rising) Thank you ; but I am not at all hungry. Do not 
let me detain you longer. However, I would like to speak a few 
words with Mrs. Sprowl before I go. 

Miss V. Father and I will he waiting for you in the dining- 
room, Salina. (exit Virginia and Mr. Villars, c. 

Sal. If you please, Mr. Bythewood, call me Salina— I repudiate 
the name of Sprowl ! 

Gus. You repudiate the name of Sprowl? (laughing) That is 
good ! Isn't Lysander Sprowl your husband? 

Sal. Yes, I suppose he is; but he isn't worthy the name of bus- 
band. / hate him! 

Gus. I expect you have good reasons for saying what you do; 
but you must not be too hard on Lysander. I believe he is going to 
redeem himself. 

Sal. What makes you think so? Do you know anything of his 
intentions? 

Gus. 1 do. and I will be plain with you. I know of your meet- 
ing him this evening. I suppose lie told you all about his plans and 
wiiat he expected of you. It is about this matter that 1 desired to 
speak with you. 

Sal. You seem to have a pretty good understanding of each 
others affairs; and I suppose you refer to the money he wanted me 
to raise for him? If so, I will say, once and for all — not a cent! I 
am not a rebel, and will not give 'money to aid in carrying on a war 
against my own people! 

Gus. If that is your decision, I have nothing more to say. It is 
nothing to me either way, more than I would like to see Lysander 
succeed, now that he has turned over a new leaf and is trying to do 
better, (bowing) Good evening! (exit l. 

Sal. Yes, and 1 believe if the truth were known, (Jus Bythewood 
would be found at the bottom of all this scheming! (exit c. 

Enter, Toby and Penn, b. 

lohy. Dc folks mus' all he gone cut! Dar are none ob 'era in 
hyar. ' Jes' take dat easy cha'r, massa Penn, an' I'll see whar— 

(starts out C. 

Penn. Toby, as soon as Carl comes, I wish you would send him 
to widow Sprowl's, after my clothes. 

Toby. Biess you, sab, you jes' lef de clo'es alone yet awhile! 
Wbuldn't hub dat a'r widder Sprowl find out you're in dis house, 
not if you'd gib me — 

Enter, Mrs. Siirowl, l 

— (aside) De bery ole hag herse'f ! Speak de debble's name an' 
he's alius at de door ! (exit Toby, c. 

Mrs. Sprowl. Bless my soul. Mr. Hapgood, you're looking purty 
well— much better than I expected to see you ! I couldn't be easy- 
old friends so— till I had come over to see bow you be! 

Pom. Well, I am feeling quite comfortable now; but I have 



PENN II AT GOOD. 13 

lean el what it is to be driven from a door that should ho open to 
welcome me. 

Mrs. S. (in whimper in a t»in) Wal, now, Mr. Hapgood, you 
mustn't go to being too hard on me fur that; consider that I'm a 
poor wklder, and my life was threatened, and 1 had to do as 1 did! 

Penn. Well, well, I certainly forgive you ! Be seated. 

Mrs. S. (sitting) I know 'twas a dreadful thing? but it's some 
comfort to think it's nothing I'm anyways to blame fur. It's bard 
enough fur me to lose a boarder, jest at this time — say nothing 
about a friend that's been jest like one of my own family, and that 
I've cooked and washed, and ironed fur, as if he was my own son. 

Penn. J acknowledge you have cooked, washed and ironed for 
me faithfully. 

Mrs. S. And I thought — old friends so— maybe you wouldn't 
mind making me a present of the trifle you've paid over and above 
what's due for your board, for I'm a poor widder, as you know, and 
my only son is a wanderer on the face of the earth. 

Penn. Yes, Mrs. Sprowl, you may consider that yours. 

Mrs. S. Then there's that old cloak of yours — I believe you 
partly promised it to me, didn't you ? 

Penn. Yes, yes; you can have the cloak ! 

Mrs. S. And I considered 'twouldn't be no more'n fair that you 
should pay for the — I don't see how in the world 1 can afford to 
lose it, being a poor widder, and live geese feathers at that, and my 
only son — (hides face in apron 

Penn.- What am I to pay for? 

Mrs. S. Fur you know, I never would have parted with it fur 
any money, and it will take at least ten dollars to replace it — which 
is hard, being a poor widder; and as strong a linen tick as ever you 
see, that I made myself and ffiat my blessed husband died on, and 
helped me pick the geese, with his own hands; and I never thought 
when I took you to board, that ever that bed would be sacrificed by 
it — for 'twas on your account, you are aware, it was Look and 
done for. 

Penn. And you think I ought to pay for the bed? 

Mrs. S. They said I must look to you, and if you don't pay fur 
it I don't know who will, I'm sure — fur none of them have sot at 
my board, and drinked of my coffee, and eat of my good corn dod- 
gers, and slept in my best bed — all fur four dollars fifty a week, 
washing and ironing throwed in, and a poor widder at that! 

Penn. (.laughing) Mrs. Sprowl, have the kindnesss not to tell 
any one. that 1 am here, and as soon as 1 can do so, I will pay you 
for your excellent feather-bed. 

Mrs. S. (rising) Thank you— very good in you, I'm sure! And 
if there is anything else among your things you can spare — 

Penn. (walking back and forth) I'll see, I'll see! Leave me 
now, do ! 

Mrs. S. I didn't intend to stay so long; but you must remember 
I'm a poor widder, and my only son — 

(exit, l., with apron to her face 

Penn. The ungrateful old creature ! 

Enter, Virginia, c 
—I am glad you have come, Virginia. I feel that I have been dia- 



U PENN HAP GOOD. 

graced {taking her hands) and did not know if you would ever 
care to see me again ! 

Miss V. In the eyes of loyal people, Mr. Hnpgood, you have 
been exalted, rather than disgraced! But do not let us dwell longer 
on this unpleasant affair. I know you must be tired and hungry. I 
have prepared some buttered toasl and some chocolate, winch is 
now ready for yon in the dining-room. We can talk while you are 
eating. 

Penn. You are very thoughtful of me, Virginia; I hope to be 
able some day, to repay you for all this kindness. 

'{exit, Virginia and Penn, c. 

Enter, Silas and Jim, l. 

Silas. Don't seem to be any one 'bout jest now. No matter, 
we'll jest make ourselves to home till some one comes in. Mean- 
time, Jim, if you'll set here by me, I'll tell you what you wanted to 
know, (they sit close together, c. — Silas takes chew of tobacco, hands 
to Jim) What I'm goiii' to say is in perfect confidence, between 
fiionds. 

Jim. (chewing) Oh, ofcouse — in perfect confidence! 

Silas. Wal, then, I'll tell you whar the money fur our job comes 
from. It comes from Gus By the wood ! 

Jim. (surprised) Sho ! 

Silas, (looking loise at him) Fact! 

Jim. But what's he so dead set ag'in' the master fur? 

Silas. I'll tell you, Jim ! (putting finger on Jim's knee) Fur as 
I kin jedge, Gus has a sneakin' notion after Villars' youngest gal, 
Virginny, } r ou know! 

Jim. (chuckling) Don't blame him ! 

Silas. But, you see, thar's that Hapgood ! He's a great favorite 
with the Villars, and Gus naturally wants to git him out of the 
way . It won't do, though, for him to have it known he has any- 
thing to do with our operations. He pays us, and backs up with 
plenty of cash, if we get into trouble; but he keeps dark, you under- 
stand? 

Jim. Oh, sartin, sartin! 

Enter, Mr. Villars, c. 

Mr. V. My friends! (they quickly rise) Keep your seats, gen- 
tlemen, keep your seats ! 

Silas. ]S*o time fur sittin', Mr. Villars, we've come on business! 
Sorry to trouble you with it, sir, but it's jest this ! We understand 
you're harboring a Yankee abolitionist, and we've called to remind 
you that seen things can't be allowed in a well-regulated com- 
munity. 

Mr. V. (with firmness) My friends, I am an old man ! I am a 
native.of Virginia, and a citizen of Tennessee, and all my life long 
I have been accustomed to regard the laws of hospitality as sacred. 

Silas. My sentiments exactly ! I won't hear a word said ag'in' 
Southern horsepitality, or Southern perliteness! (spits on floor) 
Horsepitality I look upon as one of the stable institootions of our 
country. 

Mr. V. No doubt it is so ! 

Silas. That's one thing, but harboring an abolitionist is another J 



PENX HAP GOOD. 15 

That's the question we've jest took the liberty to call and have a 
little quiet talk about to-night. 

Mr. V. My friends, we men of the South are rather boastful of 
our hospitality; but true hospitality consists in something besides 
eating and drinking with those whose companionship is a sufficient 
recompense for all that we do for them. It clothes the naked, feeds 
the hungry, shelters the distressed. With the Arabs, even an enemy 
is sacred, who happens to be a guest. Shall an old Virginian think- 
less of the honor of his house, than an Arab? 

Jim. That'll do very well to talk, Mr. Villars; but come to the 
pint. You've got a Yankee abolitionist in your house — that you 
won't deny ! 

Mr. V. I have in my house a person whose life is in danger, if 
not protected. He came to us in a condition which, I should have 
thought, would excite pity in the hardest heart. AVhetheror not he 
is a Yankee abolitionist, I never enquired. He is well known in 
this community, where he has never been guilty of a wrong toward 
any one. 

Silas. Can't help that ! you must git rid of him ! I'm a^talking 
fur your own good as much as anybody's, Mr. Villars. You're a 
man we all respect; but already you've made yourself an object of 
suspicion, by standing up fur the. old rotten Union ! 

Mr. V. When I can no longer befriend my guests, or stand up 
for' my country, then I shall have lived long enough ! 

Sim. . The old Union is played out; it has become corrupted, 

Mr. V. How corrupted, my friend? 

Jim. By the infernal anti-slavery men! 

Mr. V. You forget that Washington, Jefferson, and indeed, all 
the wisest and best men who assisted to frame the government 
under which we have been so prospered, were anti-slavery men. 

Silas. I see you're not only a Unionist, but more'n half a Yan- 
kee abolitionist yourself! 

Enter, Virginia, quietly, c. 

— We didn't come here to listen to any sech incendiary talk, (going 
toward Mr. Villars, tcith arm raised) Kick out the school-master, 
if you wouldn't git into trouble — I warn you ! 

Miss V. (springing forward) Spare him! spare him! He can 
not turn a peaceable man out of his house, you know he can not! 

Silas. You're particularly interested in the young man, hey? 

Miss V. I am interested that no harm comes either to my father 
or to his guests! Go, and leave us, I implore you! 

Silns. "We'll give the Yankee jest three days to quit the country. 
Only three days ! He'd better be dead than found here at The end of 
that time! (exit, Silas and Jim, l. 

Miss V. Oh, father, what can we do? 

Enter, Carl, c. 

Carl. Come in, Dan, und shpoke to Mister Villars. Tole him vot 
you hear 'em say ! 

Enter, Dan, c. 

Dan. (ercit(dly) They mean to kill him ! They to](] you they'd 
give him three days; but they won't! They may Le back this very 



16 PENN HAPGOOD. 

night, for they'll git drunk, and nothin' will stop 'em flien! 

Mr. V. Is this true, Mr. Pepperill? 

Dan. Yes, I lie durned if it ain't! 

Mr. V. What do 3-011 think we ought to do, Mr. Pepperill r 

Dan. The school-muster has done me n good turn, and I'll do 
him one, if I swing for it! Git him out before they suspect what 
you're at, and I'll take him to my house and hide him — I be durned 
if 1 don't ! 

Mr. V. It is a kind offer, and I thank you; but how can I re- 
solve to send a guest from my house in this way? Not to save my 
own life would I do it! 

Miss V. But to save his, father! 

Ma. V. It is only of him I am thinking, my cnilcl 

Enter, Toby, c, with eyes rolled upward — hands raised. 

dliss V. What's the matter, Toby ? 

Mr. V. Penn — has anything happened to Penn t 

Toby, {dropping on knees) Oh, debble ! debble ! Lor' bress us? 

3Iiss V. Dead? 

Toby. Gone, missis, gone ! 

END OF ACT I. 

CURTAIN. 



ACT II. 

SCENE I— Wood Scene. 

Penn discovered with hands tied behind him, standing on stool — rope 
dangles near head— Silas, Jim, and several soldiers near. 

Silas. Feller citizens and soldiers ! This man here has jest been 
proved to be a traitor and a spy, and he's about to expatiate his guilt 
on the gallus. (to Penn) If you've got any confession to make 
befor the stool is jerked out from under you. you can ease your 
mind. Only hm me suggest, if you don't mean to confess, you'd 
belter hold your tongue. 

Venn. I can't confess, for I'm not guilty. I die, an innocent 
man. I appeal to Heaven, before whose bar we must all r.ppear, 
for the justice you deny me 

Enter, Carl, l. 

Carl. Iloltonder! Let him go, und you may hung me in his 
blaee! {they all laugh 

Penn. God bless you, dear Carl ! Eemember that I loved you ; 
be always honest and upright. Goodbye, dear Carl! Bear my 
fare well to those Ave love. Don't stay to see me die, I entreat you ! 

Silas. We must hurry up this business! Jim, tie ahandkerchief 
over his eyes, and slip that noose round his neck, and let's git 
through with it seme time to-day! 

Jim. (puts rope and havdkerchiej mi) All right, captain! 

Silas, Make ready now, loys! Take away that stool in a hurry, 



PENN II AT GOOD. 11 

when I give the word! (soldiers take hold of stool 

Enter, Lysander, l. 

Lys. Hold on, there! What's going on? 

Silas. Colonel, this feller has jest been tried, and found guilty Oi 
bein' a traitor and a spy, and he's about to expatiate his guilt on the 
gall us! 

Lys. Hanging is too good for such scoundrels ! (walks back and 
forth, frowning at the prisoner) His life shall be spared on one con- 
dition; but let him take his choice — either to hang, or enlist. What 
do you say, youngster? Which do you prefer — the death of a 
traitor, or the glorious career of a soldier in the Confederate array? 

Tenn. It is impossible for me, sir, to bear arms against my 
country ! 

Lys. But the Confederate states shall be your country, and a 
country to be proud of! 

Penn. I am a citizen of the United States ! To the United States 
I owe allegiance ; so far from being a traitor, I am willing to die, 
rather than appear one ! 

Lys. Then you won't enlist? 

Penn. No, sir ! 

Lys. Not even to save your life? 

Perm. Not even to save my life! 

Lys. (turning away) Then, if you will be such a fool, I've noth- 
ing more to say. 

Carl, (throwing himself before I Lysander) Oh, Colonel Sprowl I 
Hear me — von vord ! 

Lys. "Von vord!" (laughing) What's that, you Dutchman? 

Carl. You vill let him go, und I shall volunteer in his blace! 

Lys. You ! You offer yourself as a substitute, eh — if I will spare 
his life? 

Penn. Carl, I forbid you! You shall not enlist! Better a 
thousand times that I should die, than that you should be a rebel, in 
arms against your country ! 

Carl. I haf no country ! I am vot dis man says — a Tuchman ! I 
vill enlist mit him, und he vill shpare your life. 

Lys. Boys, it's a bargain ! Cut that fellow's cords, captain, and 
let him go. Come along with me, Dutchy ! 

(exit, Lysander loith Carl, l. 

Silas. Here, Jim, take off that noose and handkerchief! (Silas 
ctt ts cords from Pexn's hands — to Penn) Now, don't let another 
night find you within twenty miles of that halter there, if you 
wouldn't have your neck in it again. (Jim cuts the rope down 

Penn. Will you give me a safe conduct? 

Silas. I've no authority — you must take care of yourself! 

(exit, Silas, Jim, and soldiers, l. 

Penn. (putting on coat) I am undecided what is best to do. If I 
stay here, they will undoubtedly hunt me down, and— (looking L.) 
They are returning— I must try to escape! (looks quickly about) I 
will hide here behind this rock. (/tides behind rock, up r. 

Enter, Lysander and Gus, l. 

Lys. The Yankee has given us the slip ; he has gone. 

G'tts. It is my opinion j ou did a bad job in not "doing him up' 1 



28 PEXX HAPGOOD. 

when you had n chance. (sitting on stool 

Lys. I wasn't aware of your sentiments, Mr. Bythewood, or I 
wouldn't have let him oil' 'or ffty substitutes, (sitting on stump) 
But if lie sets out of the state, and never shows himself here again, 
you ought to be satisfied. If lie stays here, or comes back, then 
we'll just finish the little job. Where are you bound? 

Grits. Oh, a little pleasure trip! There's to be some lively work 
at home this evening, and I thought I'd better be away. 

Lys. What's going on? 

Gfus. Captain Ropes is going to make some arrests; about fifteen 
or twenty Union shriekers will find themselves snapped up before 
they think of it. 

Lys. Has the captain orders to make the arrests? 

(ius. No; but he takes the responsibility. It's a military neces- 
sity, and the government will bear him out in it. Every man that 
has been known to drill in the Union clubs, and has refused to de- 
liver up his arms, must be secured. There's no other way of putting 
down these dangerous fellows. 

Lys. But why do you prefer to be away, when the fun is going 
on? 

tins. There may be sombody's name on the list in whose behalf 
I might be expected to intercede. 

Lys. Not old Villars? 

Gus. Yes, old Villars ! (laughing) if by that lively epithet you 
mean to designate jour venerable father-in-law. Ain't it almost too 
bad ? What will folks say ? Little care I ! Old as he is, he is really 
one of the most dangerous enemies to our cause, and he never misses 
an opportunity to denounce secession. That he openly talks treason 
and harbors and encourages traitors, is cause sufficient for arresting 
him with the others. 

Lys. Really, 'twill be better for our plans to have him out of 
the way. 

Gus. Yes, the girls will need protectors, and your wife will 
welcome you back again. 

Lys. And Virginia will perhaps look a little more favorably on 
a rich, handsome, influential fellow like you. I see! I see! The 
old man won't live long in jail. 

Gus. Very well; if the girls come to terms, why, we will secure 
their everlasting gratitude by helping him out. If they won't, we 
will merely promise to do everything we can for him — and do 
nothing. 

Lys. And the property? 

Gus. You shall have what you can get of it — I. don't care for the 
property. I believe the old man, foreseeing these troubles, has 
been converting his available means into Ohio railroad stock. If so, 
there won't be much for you to iay hold of, until we have whipped 
the North. 

Lys. That we'll do fast enough ! 

Gus. {rising) Well, I must be going! 

Lys. And 1 must be looking for that miserable school-master. 

(both exit, l. 

Penn. (coming from behind rock) Shall I abandon my friends — 
forsake Virginia and tier father, when the toils of villainy are 
tightening around them? No! With God's aid, I will save them, 
or die in the attempt! (starts l. 



PENN II AP GOOD. 19 

Enter, Virginia, l. 

— Virginia! (extending hands) What has happened? 

Miss V. (bowing head upon his arm) Oh, my father! 

Penn. Where is he ? 

Miss V. They have taken him —the soldiers! 

Penn. Then I am too late ! 

Miss V. You could have done no gooil, even if you had been 
there. There is but one man who could have prevented this 
cruelty. 

Penn. Why not see him? Perhaps there can be something done 
for him yet. 

Miss V. Alas, he left town this very day. He is a secessionist; 
but he has great influence, and appears very friendly to us. 

Penn. (looking at her keenly) His name? 

Miss V. Augustus Bythewood! (Penn recoils) What's the 
matter? 

Penn. Virginia, that man is your worst enemy. I have not told 
you how I learned that the arrests were to be made ; but I will. 
Only a few minutes ago, while hiding behind that rock — in order to 
escape from my would-be murderers — I overheard Bythewood tell 
Lysander Sprowl, that to-night fifteen or twenty Union men would 
be arrested. Your father was named as one of the number. 

Miss V. If he is an enemy, what hope is there? Oh, my father! 

Penn. .Do not despair — something may be done! I will go and 
see if I can learn anything of him. Have faith in our Heavenly 
Father. My poor girl, be patient! be strong! All, I am sure, will 
j et be well. 

Miss V. But you too are in danger. You must not be seen 
talking with me here. 

Penn. True, true ! I will go. I have a great deal more to tell 
you, which is very important that you should know. After I have 
learned of your father's whereabouts, I will bring you word, and 
tell you all. Be of good cheer, my dear girl ! 

(kisses her — exit, Penn l. } Virginia r. 



SCENE II — Interior of guard-house. 
Enter, Mr. Villars and Mr. Stackridge. l. 

Mr. V. (sitting on stool) Well, Mr. Stackridge, what do you 
think of the situation? 

Mr. S. We seem to be at the mercy of the villains. However, 
this place does not look altogether unnatural to me. If 1 mistake 
not, I have been in this room before. If this is the place I thin'k it 
is, just to the right of here, is where our club has been meeting to 
drill ; it can't do any harm for me to investigate. (exit, r. 

Mr. V. What good will it do us, if we should succeed in getting 
out of here? We would soon be evertaken, and brought back. Ah° 
these are perilous times! 

Enter, Penn, l. 

Penn. My dear Mr. Villars, I have found you at last ' • 



$0 PENN HAPGOOD. 

Mr. V. (surprised) Ah, Pemi, is it you? (shakes hands 

Penn. I cannot tell you how grieved I am to see you here. 

Mr. V. And grieved am T that you should see me here! I hoped 
you were a hundred miles away ; I never was sorry to have your 
company until now. How does it happen? 

Penn. I came in with a crowd of soldiers and prisoners, none of 
whom recognized me. The sentinels, no doubt, supposed I was ar- 
rested, and so let me pass. 

Mr. V. It is very singular; it seems almost providential that 
you are here. 

Penn. I think it is so. I think I am hei - e because I may be of 
service to you. I supposed I would find Mr. Stackridge here, too. 
Did they not bring him along with you? 

Enter, Mr. Stackridge, r. 

Mr. S. Well, well — if it isn't the school-master himself! How 
does it happen that you are here, Mr. Hapgood ? We had supposed 
that you were out of the state by this time. 

Penn. Could I forsake my friends, who have done so much for 
me? No. never! I came here, Mr. Stackridge, that I may be of 
service to you and Mr. Villars. It is more my good luck, that I 
got in here without being discovered and searched, rather than to 
any shrewdness of mine. I have brought two revolvers, (gives one 
to Mr. Stackridge) If we can escape in no other way, then we 
must shoot our way out of here ! 

Mr. S. I thought you would come to it finally ; but we will have 
very little shooting to do. 

Penn. You must remember, there is a strong guard posted out- 
side. 

Mr. S. We will have as little to do with them as possible. Gen- 
tlemen, I have a secret for you. (to Penn) Do you know whose 
property this is? 

Penn. Barber Jim's, I believe. 

Mr S. And there is a secret passage from this place into 
the cellar under Jim's shop, where our club met for drill? 

Mr. V. (surprised) Is it possible? 

Mr. S. True, Mr. Villars! It was dug by Jim himself, as a hid- 
ing place for his wife and children. He had bought them of their 
owner; but the heirs had set up claim to them. After the matter 
was settled, he showed me the place; and that's the way we came 
to make use of it. As good luck would have it, the night before the 
military took possession, Jim warned us, and we carefully put back 
every stone in the wall, and left. We have only to open the wall 
again to get out. 

Penn. Was the secret known to many? 

Mr. 8. To all the club, and one besides — and I expect I made a 
mistake in taking that one to the place. 

Penn. How ? 

Mr. S. We were drilling there the night when Dutch Carl came 
to tell us you were in danger. I thought then the boy could be 
trusted; so I took him in there — and Carl is now, a rebel volunteer. 

Penn. With him your secret is safe. 

Enter, Carl, l., wearing Confederate uniform — carries musket. 
—Ah, Carl, I am glad to see you again; but I can't forget that you 



PENN HAPGOOD. SI 

are a rebel ! You disobeyed me, Carl. I told you not to enlist; you 
did wrong. 

Carl. Now sbust listen, und I vill tell you. I did right — 'cause 
vby, you vas alive und veil now, don'd you? 

Penn. (smiling) Yes ; I will admit that. 

Carl. Und dot ish petter as being hung? 

Penn. I am not so very certain of that, Carl. 

Carl. Veil, I vas certain for you ; hanging ish no goot. Von 
hunder of velles vat don'd like dose rebels no more as you do, vol- 
unteers rather as to pe hung. 

Penn. But you have taken an oath — you are under a solemn 
engagement, Carl, to tight against the government. 

Carl. You mishtook once more — two dimes. I make a pargin — I 
say to dot man, you lef mishter Hapgoot go free, und not let him pe 
hurt, und I vill pe a rebel. Vel, he agrees; but he don'd keep his 
vord. lie let's 'em go for to hung you von more time. Now, if he 
preaks his part of dot pargin, vhy shouldn't I preak mine? 

Penn. Well, Carl, I trust your conscience is clear in the matter. 
I can only say, that, though I don't approve of you being a rebel, I 
love you all the better for it. What do you think, Mr. Villars? 

Mr. V. Sometimes people do wrong from a motive so pure and 
disinterested, that it sanctifies the action. That is Carl's case, I 
think. 

Mr. S. Carl, do you remember the secret passage I took you 
through,, under barber Jim's shop, the night you came for help, 
when our friend here was in danger? 

Carl. You vas sbust right, I do! 

Mr. S. Have you told any of the Confederate soldiers about this 
passage ? 

Carl. Not von vord ! 

Mr. S. It is through this secret pass-way that we are going to 
make an attempt to escape. Will you stay, or will you go with us? 

Carl. You vill take me brisoner ? 

Mr, S. If you wish it. 

Carl. Say you vill plow mine prains ouet, if you say von vorJ, 
or make von noise. 

Mr. S. Come, come! there's no time for fooling! 

Carl. Dot ish not vooling ! 

Mr. S. (snatching gun from Carl) You must go with us; and 
remember— if you say a word, or make the least noise, I will blow 
your brains out! 

Carl. Vel, then, I vill go 'long mit you ! 

Mr. S. Let us make haste, before our plans are discovered ! 

(exeunt quickly, R. 

Enter, quickly, l., Silas, Jim and Dan. 

Silas. What does this mean? Where are the prisoners? We 
must find where they are! (exit Silas, l.— Jim, r. 

Dan. I'll bet a boss, that Dutch feller has helped them to git 
away, and, to tell the truth, I'm kinder glad of it— I be durned if I 
ain't! 

Enter, Silas and soldiers, l. — Jim, r. — all excited. 

Jim. They are gone! They escaped through the cellar, under 
Barber Jim's shop! 
miuti, W« miwi Ku»!j.uij' M thuui at nil {smtnt, tti 



22 PENN HAP GOOD. 

SCENE III — House of the Villars, same as Scene 111, Act 1. 

Enter, Toby, r. 

Toby. I jes' wonder whar dem chaps don took ole massa, any- 
how? Dars miss 'Jinny 'bout sick, an' — 

Enter, Gus, l. 

— Oh, inassa Bythewood, dey come an' took ole massa away, an' I 
'spect deys gone an' killed him ! 

Gus. I trust not so bad as that, Toby. 

Toby. Yes, sah, I tinks it's dat bad, if not wus — an' de young 
ladies! Oh, massa Bythewood! you mus' do sumfin' fo' de young 
ladies an' ole massa! 

Gus. (aside) By George, I'm in luck this time! (aloud) I will 
see what can be done. 

Enter, Virginia, c. 

— Will you tell — (sees Virginia) My dear Virginia, you cannot 
conceive of my astonishment and grief, on hearing what has hap- 
pened to your family ! (exit, Toby, c) I have just this hour re- 
turned to town, or I should have been here before, to assure you 
I will do all I can for you. My dear young lady, be comforted; it- 
grieves me to the heart to see how pale and distressed you look. 

Miss V. Surely, if ever we needed a true, disinterested friend, 
itisnow. Please be seated, (sits) Excuse me a moment — I will 
call my sister. (exit, c. 

Gus. Now is my time! I will ask her hand in marriisre this 
very night. While feeling so forlorn and friendless, she will hardly 
refuse such a prize. 

Enter, Toby, c. 

Toby. Massa Bythewood, miss Jinny recommends dat I say to 
you, dat in consequence oh her not feelin' jes' 'zackly right 'bout de 
reg'in oh her heart — kinder sick like, you know — she'd prefer puttiu' 
otfgittin' married till some mo' convenient time, when de folks am 
all to home. 

Gus. The devil ! Who said anything about getting married? A 
very likely story indeed ! Very well — tell her I will call again! 
(aside) Ah, let her beware! She will find I am not to be trifled 
with ! (exit i.. 

Toby. What war dat he said 'bout de debblc? Go to talkiu' 
'bout dat ole — 

Enter, Salina, c. 

Sal. Toby, do you know where Virginia has gone. 

Toby. She war in de kitchen jes' a few minutes ago, Miss Salina. 
I 'spect she's gone out in de garden, or to de — 

Sal. No, she hasn't ; I just now saw her going across the fields, 
toward the school-house. 

Entry, Lysandkr, o. 

Lvs. (throvaivg himself into easy chair) Well, Sallie. my girl, here 
we are at home ! Bring me the hoot-jack, Toby ! 

(Toby saunters uu t c. 
Sal. I don't know about your being at home! 



PENN HAP GOOD. 25 

Lys. I suppose Toby lias told you the news? Awful news! a 
fearful dispensation of Providence ! Pepperill came in this after- 
noon and confirmed it. We thought he had deserted; but it appears 
he had only got lost in the woods. He reports some dead bodies in 
a ravine, and his account tallies very well with Toby's. We'll wear 
mourning, of course, Sallie. {mores close to her) Come, my dear, 
we may as well understand each other! I tell you, I'm going to be 
one of the big men under the new government. Now, Sal, see here! 
I'm your husband, and there's no getting away from it. Let's 
settle down, and be respectable! We've had quarrels enough, and 
I've got tired of them, (calls) Toby, why don't you bring that 
bootjack? Now, what's the use, Sal? Since the way is open for 
us to live together, why can't you make up your mind to it; let by- 
gones be bygones, and begin over again ? When I was a poor devil, 
dodging the officers, and never daring to see you except in the 
dark, 1 couldn't blame you for feeling cross with me. But you're 
a captain's wile now ; you'll he ;i general's wife by and by. I shall 
be fighting the battles of my country, and you'll be proud to hear of 
my exploits. 

(tries to caress her 

Sal. Go away! T am as unhappy as I can be! Oh, if I 'had 
never seen you ! Why do you come to torment me now? 

Enter, Toby, c, with bootjack. 

Lys. Toby, you devil ! Why don't you bring that bootjack? 
Toby: [throwing bootiack out of window) Dar ain't a bootjack 
nowhars in de house, sab! 

Lys. Then come here yourself! 

Lysandku puts up foot — Toby gets astride — Lysander gives him a 
push with, his other foot — boot comes off and Toby falls headlong 

on the floor. 

Toby, (gettin / up) De debble take de boot! Dat 'bout busted mv 
ose! 

Lys. Try the other one, and be a little more careful this time. 

(same business — Toby pitches headlong again 

Toby. De Lor' presarb de fragments! (getting up) I'se all 
busted to pieces dis time, sartin ! You don't make no mo' bootjacks 
out ob dis darkey! Dat's a fac' ! 

Lys. Don't need any more to-night! Now shut up the house 
and go to bed. (puts on slippers — exit Toby, c. 

Lys. Law, Sallie, we can be as happy as two pigs in clover! 

(puts arm around her 

Sal. Oh, yes; I do think we can be happy, if you will only be 
kind and good to me — if not here, why, then somewhere else! 

Lys. Ah, but I have a fancy for this place, and wdiat should we 
leave it for? 

Hal. P.ecause — you know, there is no certainty — I believe father 
is alive yet, and well. 

Lys. Not unless Toby lied to me — did he? 

Sal. (evasicehj) Pshaw! You can't place any reliance on what 
Toby says ! 

Lys. Cut I tell you, Pepperill confirms his report about the dead 
bodies in the ravine ! Now, what do you know to the contrary? 

Sal. The truth is, Toby did fool you— he couldn't heln bra°-<Jina 
to me about it °° n 



nose 



94 PENN HAP GOOD. 

Lys. Oh, Toby, that little fib of yours is destined to cose you and 
others very dear ! (jumping up) I'll lick the nigger for lying to 
me! (goes to door, c. — calls) Toby! Toby! 

Sal. Lysander, what are you going to do with that old man? 

Lys. I'm going to lick him ! 

Enter, Tory, c. 

Toby. What's wantin', sah? 

Lys. Good old Toby ! Now, what you have deserved so long, 
and what I will proceed to give you, -is the worst licking you ever 
had in your life ! 

Toby drops on knees, rolling up his eyes — Lysander snatches up 
boot — takes hold of Toby. 

Sal. No, you shall not! Let him go! 

Lys. Not exactly, my lady ! I am master in this house, what- 
ever turns up ! I am this nigger's master, too ! 

Sal. (stepping between Lysander and Toby) You are not — you 
never were ! Toby has his freedom ! He shall not be whipped ! 

Lys. (looking R.) Hello! what smoke is that? 

Sal. Oh, Heavens! the house is on fire! 

Lys. Come, Toby, quick! you black rascal — and help put out 
the fire! (exit, Lysander and Salina, r. 

Toby. It was lucky fo' ole Toby, dat some one sot lire to de 
house jes' when dey did, sartin ! (exit R. 

Enter, Silas and Jim, l. 

Jim. They must all have gone to bed ! 

Silas. If there's any of them hidin' about the house, the fire will 
bring them out, so we might jest as well take things cool. 

They sit — stream of water is thrown in from r. by force pump — strikes 
Silas on head. 

Silas, (jumping up, clasping head with both hands) The devil! 
What does this mean? 

Jim. Keep cool, parti! keep cool! It is nothing but a little 
water ! 

Enter, Toby, r. 

Toby. Fo' de Lo'd's sake, come out hyav quick ! Massa Sprowl's 
tumbled head fust into de — Oh, Lor', into de— 
Silas) 

& [• Into what? 
Jim. ) 

Toby. Into fie — de — 
Silas. You black devil ! out with it! 
Toby. Into de mud! 

end of act ii. 

QUICK CUSTADj 



fENN BAP GOOD. Si 

ACT III. 

SCENE I— Street. 
Enter, Silas and Lysander, l. 

Silas. Stackridge was in the village last night! 

Lys. What's that to me? 

Silas. I'll explain what it is; the feller that has been furnishing 
us with money — you know who I mean? 

Lys. Oh, certainly, certainly ! 

Silas. Well, he feels a cussed sight Avorse now that he believes 
the gal is in a cave somewhars with the school-master, than he did 
when he thought she was burnt in the woods, lie says Toby must 
be ketched, and the secret licked out of him. In the meanwhile, he 
thinks su'thing can be done with Stackridge's family. Stackridge 
was home last night, and of course his wife will know about the 
cave. I sw'ar — I wouldn't object to using a little of the same sort oi 
co-ercion on her, you tried with Toby ! and By the wood wouldn't 
nuther — only, you understand, he mustn't be supposed to know 
anything about it! Good idee? 

Dys. Very good! Go yourself, captain, and put it into execu- 
tion. 

Silas. There's one objection to that; (taking chew of tobacco) I 
know the old woman so well! How's Jim Gad and that dog of a 
Pepperill ? 

Lys. Just the chaps! It won't do any harm to give the jade a 
good dressing down, anyway ; even if we don't find out what we 
want to know. I wish every man, woman and child, that shrieks 
for the old rotten Union, could be served in the same way. 

(exeunt R. 

SCENE II — Kitchen in the Stackridge house. 

Enter, Mrs. Sprowl, l., with basket on arm. 

Mrs. S. (peering about) Ain't to hum, none of 'em, hey? 
House wa'n't locked nuther! I can borrow what I want jest exactly 
as well as if Mrs. Stackridge was to hum. (puts pan of meal in 
basket) I'll fetch home the pan when I do the meal! (takes up 
box) What's in this box? Coffee! may as well take box and all — 
bring back box when I do the coffee. Wish I could tind some to- 
backy somewhars — wonder whar they keep their tobacky! The 
property of these Union shriekers is all goin' to be confiscated, and 
I reckon I may as well take my share when I can git it! Thar's a 
paper of black pepper, and I'll take it jest as 'tis. Thar's a jar of 
lump butter — wish I could tote jar and all ! (steps heard out L.) Oil, 
dear me! what shall I do? If it should be Mr. Stackridge — but it 
can't be him! If it's only Mrs. Stackridge, I'll face it out! (knock 
at door) My, it's visitors — who can it be? I'll act jest as if I had a 
right here anyhow ! 

Enter, Jim and Dan, l., each have a musket. 

Jim. Are you Mrs. Stackridge? 

Mrs. S. Ye — ye — yes! What do you want of Mrs. Stackridge? 
Jim, (pointing to basket) This is the Woman ; she is gittin' pro-' 
vision* ready t© mm\ to hat husband iu she mountains. 



S6 PENN HAP GOOD. 

Dan. Let's see what there is good to eat. I'm hungry as a 
hound, T be durned if I ain't! 

Mrs. S. Have some? 

Jim. Thank ye ! 

Mrs. S. Oh, take all you want — you're welcome to anything 
there is in the house, I'm sure! (aside) I'm so glad these soldiers 
have come! Now, whatever is missing will be laid to them. 

Dan. {taking Jim to one side) Jim, do you know who that wo- 
man is? 

Jim. Ain't it Mrs. Stackridge? 

Dan. No. I be durned if it is! 

Jim. Who is it, then ? 

Dan. It's widder Sprowl, the captain's mother! 

Jim. She says she's Mrs. .Stackridge, so we'll jest do as the cap- 
tain said ! 

Dan. He'll kill us, I be durned if lie won't! 

Jim. I'll risk thai ! {to Mrs. Sprowl) Are you Mrs. Stack- 
ridge? 

Mrs. S. Yes; help yourselves— take anything you like! 

Jim. Where's your husband ? 

Mrs. S. My husband? My poor, dear husband — he has been 
dead these — 

Jim. Dead ? 

Dan. That's right — he's dead ! I be durned if he ain't ! 

Jim. I am talkin' about Mr. Stackridge. He was here last night: 
he was seen. 

Mrs. IS. Would you like some cheese? 

Jim. You bet! This is better as rations. (Mrs. Sprowl takes 
up basket — starts to go) Wait ! you must tell us where your hus- 
band is? 

Mrs. S. Oh, dear me, I don't know ! I'm a poor lone woman, 
and where my husband is I can't conceive, I'm sure! 

Jim. {taking whip from under coat) You must tell us where your 
husband is, or I'll — {draws whip 

Dun. Oh, don't! he'll kill us, I— 

Jim. Shet up ! 

Mrs. S. it's all a mistake ! Let me go! 1 ain't — 

Jjm jerks her apron up over her head — gives her a few light cuts — she 

screams. 

Enter, Lysander, l. 

Lys. Well, boys, how are you making it? 

Jim. (holding her apron over her head) She won't tell ! 

Lys. Very well; j;ive her some more! (Jim strikes her — she 
screams) Now, uncover her face — I'll question her my — (Jim un- 
covers her face) Good Inciter! you scoundrels! You have whipped 
my own mother! (drawing sword) I've a good mind to — 

Dan. {knees knocking together) Oh, Lord! < h, Lord! I knowed 
it would come to this, 1 be durned if I didn't! (change quickly to 

^C'EXE III — Guard-house, same as Act 2d, Scene 2d. 
Enter, Carl and Toby, r. — Carl is handcuffed. 
Carl, {silting on stool) Vel, Toby, vat you tink they vill do mit 
us? 
Toby. Dat's what I dunno myse'f! When it comes to lickin' 



PENN II AP GOOD. £7 

white women an' 'spectable servants, aren't nobody safe. I'se glad 
Die massaan' miss Jinny's safe up dar in de cave, an' I only wish 
we war safe dar, too ! 

Carl. Did you bromise to tell them where the cave is? 

Toby. No, sab ! an' more'n dat I neber will. 

Enter, Silas and Jim, L.,ioith rope. 

Silas, (flourishing whip — to Jim) String that nigger up . 

Jim. {goes to Toby, whois on his knees) Git up, you black ras- 
cal! 

Toby. Fo' de Lor's sake, what you gwine to do? 

Carl. Holt on, sir, it' you bleasc, von leetle moment! I haf a 
void or two to spheak. I know petter as he does about dot cave; I 
VOS there. 

Silas. Hey, you offer yourself to be whipped in this nigger's 
place ? 

Carl. Not very much! I can go mit you or anypody you vill 
send, and show where the cave is. I remember — but if you vill haf 
me whipped, I shouldn't pe very much surprised if dot vould make 
me to forget; vhipping is very pad for the memory. 

Jim. You mean to say, if you are licked, then you won't tell? 

Carl. Dot ish the idea I vished to convey. 

Jim. We'll see about that! (ties Toby's hands) In the mean- 
time, we'll try what can he got out of this nigger. 

Enter, Lysander, l. 

Lys. Hold! What are you doina: with that nigger? 

Silas. Colonel, we're goin' to lick him till he tells where that 
cave is ! 

Carl. I told the shentlemen dot I know petter as he does about 
the cave — 1 vas there! I can go mit you, or anypody you vill send, 
und show vbar dot cave ish. 

Lys. Will you promise to show me the cave? 

Carl. I vill! 

Lys. Why, then, captain, that's all we want, and I order this 
nigger to be set free ! 

Toby. Oh, tank you, massa Sprowl, tank you! 

(Jim releases Toby 

Lys. Now, make for home as fast as your legs will carry you. 
Tell Sallie to have supper ready by rive; I will be there promptly 
at that time. 

Toby. All right, sah ! Til see dat supper is ready. (exit h. 

Lys. Captain, have at least a dozen of your best drilled men 
ready to start for the mountains promptly at six o'clock. Also in- 
form Gus Bythewood of our plans; perhaps he would like to accom- 
pany us, to witness the sport of capturing the fugitives. 

Silas. All right, colonel; your orders shall be promptly obeyed. 

(exit, Silas and Jim, l. 

Lys. (to Carl) Your name is Carl, I believe? 

Carl. Yah, I sushpect dot vas true. 

Lys. Carl what? 

Carl. Minnevich. 

Lys. Minny-fish? That's a scaly name, and they say you are a 
scaly fellow. What have you got those bracelets on for? 

Cuii. Dot ish vat 1 should pe very much glad to rind ouet. 



28 PENN HAP GOOD. 

Lys. You are the fellow that enlisted to save the school-master's 
neck, ain't you? 

Curl. Yah, I shuppose clot ish true, too ! 

Lys. Suppose — don't you know ? 

Carl. I thought I knowed, for you told me so; hut as they vas 
hunting for him afterwards to hang him, I vas convinced I vas mis- 
tooken. 

Lys. And so you deserted? 

Carl. Dot isli not (mite so true. 

Lys. What— you deny the fact? 

Carl. I peg your pardon, it ish not a fact! I vas taken prisoner. 

Lys. And do you maintain that you did not go willingly? 

Carl. I don'd know shust vat you mean hy villingly. Vlien von 
of dose fellers puts his muzzle to mine head und says, "you come 
mit us, und make no noise or I plow ouet your prains," I vas pre- 
vailed upon to go. 1 vas more villing to go as 1 vas to liaf mine 
piains spil: if dot is vat you mean hy villing — I vas villing. 

Lys. You promised to conduct me to the cave, did you not? 

Carl. I pelieve I did make you some hromise. 

Lys. Very well, I will give yon a chance to earn your freedom. 
(takes off Caul's handcuff— throws them out r.) I am willing to 
trust you ; but remember, if I find you are deceiving me, 1 will 
shoot you on the spot. Do you understand that? I will shoot you 
on the spot ! 

Carl. I vas never shot, but I sushpeet I know vat shotting is. 

Lys. Are you ready to go? 

Carl. Right avay ? 

Lys. Yes, at once! 

Carl. I vill pe ready vhen I gets ^ome dings I left in there. 

(points R. 

Lys. Get them, and be quick about it. (exit, Gael r. — returns 
immediately with a small bundle) Now, let's be off at once ! (exit l 

SCENE IV — Near the entrance of a cave in the mountains — cave R. 

Enter, Virginia and Penn from cave. 

Miss V. 01), how delicious it is out here ! 

Penn. It is delicious. (leads her to seat on rude bench, L. 

Miss V. I am always glad to get out of that prison. 

Penn. Why, don't you like the place, Virginia? 

Miss V The air of the cave is so cold. The cave seems to me 
like the great cbill hearts of some of 3 r our profound philosophers — 
some of those tremendous books father makes me read to him, came 
out of such hearts, I am sure; great hollow caverns, full of mystery 
and darkness, and so cold and dull they make me shudder to touch 
them. 

Penn. What kind of books do you like, Virginia? 

Miss V. Oh, I like books with daylight in them. I want them 
to be living, joyous books; they must be sunshine, and birds, and 
brooks — human nature, life, suffering and — 

Penn. AntL love? 

Miss V. Of course, there should be a little love in books, since 
there is sometimes a little, I believe, in real life. How long do you 
imagine we shall have to stay here? 

Penn. It is impossible to say, One would think that the govern- 
ment etumot leave m ttiueh ledge* 8Ub,tesfc ts this atrocious tyranny *, 



PENX HAP GOOD. 29 

but there is no telling how long it will be before Tennessee is re- 
lieved. 

Miss V. What is going to become of us, if relief doesn't arrive 
soon? Oh, look at the beautiful world we are driven from by these 
wicked, wicked men ! 

Penn. And are von so very weary of the cave? 

Miss V. I wish'l could get out into the sunshine again; but I 
have not been unhappv. Indeed, I think I have been very happy. 

Mr. V. (in cave) Virginia, my child! 

Miss V. Father is calling; (rising) I must go and see what he 
wants. 

Penn. (going with her to entrance of cave) It is time Mr. Stack- 
ridge was coming back; and as I am anxious to know -if he has 
heard anything from Washington. I guess I will go down in the 
ravine to meet him. 

Miss V. Do not stay long ; we will be lonely here without you. 

Penn. I will be gone but a few minutes. 

(exit, Penn, l.— Virginia into cave 

Enter, Toby and Salina, r. 

Toby. Now, you jes' sot yourse'f on dat rock dar, while I makes 
a reckon-ovster. 

Sal. (pointing l.) Toby, there is somebody ! Don't you see— by 
those shrubs. 

Toby, (going L.— looks off) D->r ain't nobody dar! 

Sal. Yes, there is! I saw a man jump up — he is bending over 
something now. trying to lift it. It must be Penn, or some of his 
friends; go softly and see. 

Toby, (stepping lightly to L.) I— I'se mos' afeared to ! hut dar's 
somebody — sure — (calls) Who's dar? 

Carl, (outs-ide) Be quiet — come here! 

Toby. What— Carl? Carl! dat you? What you doin' dar? 
Massy sakes ! (exit l. 

Enter, Carl and Toby, i/, carrying Lysander. 

Carl. I've sot a brisoner. 

Toby, (laying Lysander down h.) Dead— oh, de debble! 

Carl. I've knocked him on the head a leetle; but he isn't dead. 

Toby, (softly) Dat Sprowl ! 

Carl, (softly) He von't hurt you. Toby, who ish dot voman? 

Toby. Dat am Miss Salina! 

Carl. Vimmen scream sometimes — tell her she ish not to scream. 
You get her handkershif, und don'd tell her it ish Sprowl. 

Toby, (goes over to her) Miss Salina! 

Sal. (excitedly) Who— what is it? 

Toby. Our Carl, don't you know? He's got one ob dem secesh 
he's knocked on de head. 

Sal. Has he killed him? 

Toby. Part killed him an' part took him prisoner — 'bout six ob 
one an' half a dozen ob tudder. He says you's 'spectfully 'quested 
not to scraam ; an' he wants your hank'cher. 

Sal. (giving handkerchief) What does he want of it? 

Toby. Dat he best know hisse'f ; but if my 'pinion am axed, I 
should say, to wipe de fellah's nose wid. 

(takes handkerchief to Carl 



ZV PEXX IIAPGOOD. 

Carl, (spreading handkerchief over Sprowl's face) That prevents 
her seeing him. 

Toby. Who eber knowcd you'? such a powerful smart chile? 

Enter, Virginia and Mr, Villars from cave. 

Miss V. Oh, Sal inn, I am so glad you have come! Here you 
will he safe. 

Mr. V. Who is with you, my daughter? 

Sal. Toby and Carl! 

Carl, (coming forward) Vhere ish mishter Hapgoot? 

Miss V. He has gone down in the ravine to meet Mr. Stackridge; 
he will he back in a few minutes. 

Carl. In dot ravine? Dot's vhere Ropes und the soldiers haf 
gone. 

Miss V. What soldiers? (points to Lysander) Who is this? 

Carl. This ish their gallant captain. I am very sorry, ladies, 
but 1 have given him a leetle nose Meed, (takes off handkerchief — 
hands to Salina) Your handkershif, ma'am, und very much 
obliged. 

Sal. (goes I,. — starts hack) Lysander! 

Lys. (trying to get up) Sal, is that you? "Where am I, anyhow? 
(sees Caul) Carl, what's this? 

Carl. Don'd be wiolent, (laying him down) und I vill told you. 
I vas your brisoner, und 1 vas showing you the cave. Vel,derc ish 
dot cave; (pointing to cave) but dings ish a leetle inverted — you 
vas mine brisoner. 

Lys. Is that so? 

Carl. Yah, very much so! 

Lys. Didn't somebody knock me on the nead? 

Carl. I shouldn't pe vastly surbrised if somepodv did knock you 
on the heat. 

Lys. Was it you ? 

Carl. I rather sushpect it vas me. 

Lys. (raising up— feelhvi for revolver) I'll be revenged! 

Carl. Very goot — ve vill discuss dot question of wengeance, if 
you likes! (draws revolver — Lysandkr dodges) Vat for you dodge ? 
Salina becomes fainl — Virginia leads her into cave 

Z?/s. (feeling for sword) Villain! 

Carl. Did somepody say somepodv is a willain? I shouldn't pe 
very much surbrised if dot vas so! Wlllains nowadays is cheap — I 
haf known a great variety since secesb times pegan; but as for your 
bnrticular case, sir, I peg to give some advice. Do you remember 
how you put pracelets on me, ven I vas your brisoner? Vel, I make 
von great mishtook, und put them very same pracelets in my pocket 
ven you took me to show you the cave. I vill villingly lend the 
pracelets to you. (puts handcuffs on Lysander — taking rope- from 
pocket) Now, Toby, you shust help a leetle, und ve vill tie the 
sbentleman mit rope, (they tie his hands tight to his body) Dot 
vill do! Now, Mr. Willars, if you haf no objections, ve'll took the 
sbentleman into dot cave. 

Mr. V. All right, Carl, bring him along; we will make room 
for him. (exit, Mr. Vii.lars into cave 

Lys. My head! my head ! My skull is fractured. Toby, can't 
you loosen the rope a little? 

Toby. Bery sorry, deed, sah; but T can't unloosen de rope fo' 
you. (exit, Caul and Ti by with Lysandkr into cava 



PEtfN II AP GOOD. SI 

Enter, Virginia, from cave. 

Miss V. {gofng l.) Oh, T do wish Pen n would come! Carl 
said something about the soldiers being in the ravine. I am afraid 
something has happened to — 

Enter, Grs, r. 

Gus. Ah, I have found yon at last, Miss Villars! 

Miss Y. Gus Bythewood ! Mow came you here? Leave me at 
once — 1 do not wish to sneak to you ! 

Gus. Hear me, Miss Villars! If I have done anything wrong, I 
beg your pardon ! If I have committed a fault, it has been for the 
love of you? Such faults surely may he pardoned. Virginia, will 
you accept my life as an atonement for all I have done amiss? _ You 
'shall bear my name, possess my wealth, and enjoy all there is in a 
life of luxury and ease. 1 will take you to France, Italy, Switzer- 
land— wherever yon wisli to p,o. Xor do 1 forget your father; what- 
ever you ask for him shall be granted. 

Miss V. Well, what more? 

Gus. What more? Ah, you are. thinking of your friends — I 
should say, your friend. It is natural. I have no 'ill will against 
him. Whatever you ask for him, shall be granted. 

Miss V. Well, and if I reject your generous offer? 

Gus. Ah, refuse me and see ! Your future is entirely in your 
own hands, Miss Villars. On the one side, what I have promised; 
on the other — 

Miss V. On the other, the fate of a friendless, -fatherless, Union- 
loving woman, in this chivalrous South. I know what, awaits me 
on that side, and I accept it. My friend can die; my father can 
die; and I can! All this I accept — you and your oi'.crs I reject. I 
would not be your wife to save the world ! 1 detest you— you have 
my an wer ! 

Gus. 1 hoped your decision would be different; but it is spoken ! 
(speaking slowly) Prepare to meet thy doom! (exit, r. 

Miss V. Oli, my God! What shall we do? I must find Penn, 
and warn him of the danger we are in. \cxit l. 

Enter, Salina and Lysander from cave. 

lys. Sal, are you pleased to see me in this condition? 

Sal. I'd rather see you dead! If 1 were you, I'd kill myself! 

Lys. Give me a knife, free my bands, and you won't have to re- 
peat your advice. I have, one in mv pocket, but can't get to it. 

Sal. A colonel in the Confederate army, outwitted and taken 
prisoner by a bov ! This, then, is the military glorv you bragged 
of — and 1 was going to be so proud of being your wife! Well, 1 am 
proud ! 

Lys. Ta 1 luck will happen, you know — once out of this scrape, 
you'll see what I will do! Come, Sal, now be good tome. 

Sal. Good to vou ! I've tried that, and what did I set for it? 

Lys. I own I've given you good cause to hate me. I'm sorry for 
it. Hate me if you will — I deserve it; but you don't want to see 
me eternally disgraced, I know. This cursed rope! (business) I 
wouldn't mind the handcuffs, if the rope was away. Take the knife 
from my pocket, Sallie, do! and give the rope just a touch with it. 

Sal, (takes knife from his pocket — drops it at his feet) Remem- 
ber, if you betray me — death shall be your doom ! 

{she exits into cave — Lysander sits on ground — cuts rope 



S3 PENN HAP GOOD. 

Enter, Toby from cave 

Toby. Right glad to see you convanescent, sah. ' 
Lys. Toby, I wish you would put on my cap. 
Toby. Wid all de pleasure in de world, sah ! 

Toby stoops to get cap — Lysander jumps up, strikes him with hand- 
cuffs, knocking him over — runs out quickly, r. 

Enter, Caul from cave — Virginia, l. 

Carl. Vat ish wrong, Toby ? Vhere ish your brisoner ? 

Enter, Sauna from cave. 

Miss V. How could you let him go, Toby? 

Enter, Mr. Villars/Vowi cave. 

Toby, (getting up) Dunrio, misses, no more'n you do! 'Pears 
like he done gnawed off de rope wid his teeth. 

Sal. I did it! (picking vp knife) Here is the knife I took from 
nis pocket and dropped it at his feet. 

Mr. V. dalina, you have done a very treacherous and wicked 
thing. I pity you.' 

Sal. I know it, father. Do you know what made me? It was — 

Enter, Penn and Mr. Stackridge, quickly, l. 

Penn. Fly! Get into the cava as quickly as possible! (exit Vir- 
ginia, Mr. Villars and Salina into cave) V hy, here is Carl and 
Toby! You have arrived just in time. Come! We must prepare 
to defend ourselves. (exeunt, into cave 

Be-enter, Mr. Stackridge, Pknn, Carl and Toby, loith guns. 

Mr. S. Now, boys, keep a sharp lookout; and as soon as one of 
hem raises his head above those rocks, let him have it ! 

(points off :.. 

Carl, (firing) I made von feller take down his head purty quick ! 

Toby, (fires — gun kicks him over) Lawdy massy — dat canon kills 
at bof ends ! 

Mr. S. They have succeeded in scaling those rocks, and are com- 
ing rapidly this way ! Boys, let them have it ! 

(several shots are fired from both sides 

Penn. See, they have, divided their forces — and "the majority of 
them, led by Silas Popes and Jim Gad, are going around to attack 
the rear end of the cave. They are intending to surprise us ! 

Mr. S. I believe that is so! Toby, you stay here, and we will go 
and give them a warm reception, if they undertake to enter the rear 
end of the cave. (exit, Mr. Stackridge and Carl 

Penn. If you see any signs of danger, let us know at once ! 

(exit, Penn into cave 

Toby. Now, jes' 'sense me from any mo' business ob dis kin'! 
A pusson stands a good chance ob gittiii' pow'fully hurt, specially 
Wid an' ole canon like dis, dat kills at bof ends! 

Enter, Lysander, l. — Salina from cave, ivith revolver. 

Lys. Hello ' Sal, what the devil do you mean? 

(exit, Toby into cave, 



PENN II AT GOOD. Si 

Sal. I mean to kill you, if you ever offer to set a foot in this 
slace ! 

Enter, Virginia from cave. 

Lys. Tt's no use, gals ! Don't make fools of yourselves — you 
won't be hurt; but I'm bound to go in there! 
Sal. Do not attempt it ! 

Mu. Villars appears at entrance of cave 

Lys. Call off your gals, Mr. Villars! 

Mr. V. Lysander, hear me! We are but three here, as you see; 
a helpless, old man, and two girls; why do you follow to persecute 
ua? Go your way, and learn to be a man. My daughters do right 
to defend this place, winch you — false and ungrateful — have be- 
trayed. Attempt nothing farther, for we are not afraid to die! 

Enter, Gus, L. 

Gtts. {seising Virginia) Now hear me ! I am not to be spurned 
like a dog, even by the foot of — 

Enter, Penn from cave — Virginia struggles away. 

Penn. . (covers him with pistol) Make a single move — speak a 
single word, and you are food for the buzzards! 
Gns. I have men within call 
Pei.n. So have I ! 

Enter, Mu. Stack ridge, Carl and Toby from cave. 

Mr. S. We are safe! Their leader, Silas Ropes, is dead; and 
his confederate, Jim Gad, is mortally wounded, and the soldiers 
have all dispersed! 

Enter, Dan, r. 

Penn. ITow is it, Daniel? Are we safe. 

Dun. I be darned if yon ain't! Here's a letter from General 
Derring — jest read it. I run 'bout all the way from town with it, 
fur lie said it was very important that the gentleman should have it. 

Penn. (opening letter — reads) "Dear Gus" — ah, this letter is for 
you, Mr. Bythewood! (ofiers letter to Gus 

Gun. (grvffly) Go on and read it ! 

Penn. (reads) "Dear Gus: This is an awful bad scrape you 
have got into; but I suppose I must get you out of it. .Villars shall 
have passports, and an escort, if he likes. I have ordered the sol- 
diers from the mountains. The hardest thing to arrange is the 
Sprowl nffair; however, I will do the best for him I can. Yours, 
etc.. II. P. Derring. " 

Gus. I have nothing more to say. (draws revolver) I bid you 
all an eternal farewell ! (shoots himself— falls 

Lys. There, see what you have driven him to! Sal, give me 
that— 

Sal. Stand back, or I'll shoot! 

Lys. (bounding towards her) Shoot and be — (she fires) She ha3 
shot, me! The fiend ! ' (sinks down dead 

Dan (trembling) I knowed all the time somebody would g& 



t4 PENN IIAPGOOD. 

"done up" afore this tiring was through with, t be durned if I 
didn't! 

Mr. V. My friends, these are terrible time; but whether we 
"live or die, survive or perish," let us resolve, one and all, to stand 
by the glorious old Union! 

CURTAIN. 

HE &ND. 



V «■ »"«— W ^Ay 

•A ■ <>■■■»■ Ar 



SYNOPSIS. 

ACT T. Scene 1st.— School-house— Penn and Carl— The throat- 
Foot-race between Carl, Dan and Jim — Perm's defense — "Hang 
him! hang him!" — Carl to the rescue — Tar and feathers. Scene 
2d. — Interview between Sprowland Bythewood. Scene 3d. — Toby — 
Virginia and her father — Toby frightened — "De debble will git me, 
suah !" — Arrival of Penn — Toby — "I'se a master ban' to pick 
geese!" — Gns Bythewood, his Southern sentiments — Salina — "I am 
not a rebel!" — Mrs. Sprow'. the "lone widder," interviews Penn. 
Mr. Villars threatened — Virginia intercedes — "We'll give the 
Yankee three days to leave the country." — Carl and Dan — "They 
moan to kill Penn" — Escape of Penn. 

ACT II. Scene 1st. — Penn about to be hung — "Death, rather 
than a rebel!" — Carl saves Penn, by enlisting — Arrest of Mr. Vil- 
lars and Stackridge — Virginia discovers Bythewood's treachery. 
Scene 2nd. — Prisoners in the guard-house — The secret passage — Carl 
on guard — Escape of prisoners with Carl. Scene 3d. — Home of the 
Villars — Toby's opinion — Virginia missing — Lysander and Salina — 
"Terrible news" — Toby as a bootjack — "Toby shall not be whipped!" 
"Fire! fire!" 

ACT III. Scene 1st. — Lysander and Silas — A plan to compel 
Mrs. Stackridge to reveal the cave where her husband is — Scene 2nd. 
Mrs. Sprowl, the "lone widder" visits Mrs. Stackridge's home — 
arrival of Dan and Jim, who mistake her for Mrs. Stackridge — the 
whipping — Lysander arrives — "Scoundrels, you have whipped my 
mother!" Scene 3d. — Carl and Toby prisoners — Carl saves Toby a 
whipping — Carl leads the wav to the cave. Scene 4th. — Cave — 
Penn and Virginia — Carl and Toby, with Lysander a prisoner — Es- 
cape of Lysander, and attempt to capture party at cave — Repulse 
and victory — Death of Bythewood and Lysander— Passport to the 
North. 




—OR— 

The Detective from Plunketsville. 

A Drama in III. ACTS. Nine characters needed— 45 
male and 3 female. 

SYNOPSIS. 

ACT I. Interview between Albert and Alice Cotton — Simpl« 
Silas. Tramp from Plunketsville, Vt. Bob and the spotted pig. 
Arrival of the expressman. Bob as a pugilist. Silas obtains impor- 
tant information from Bob. Alice's letter and the telegram. Bot 
discovers the roosting place of the old setting hen. Alice in trouble. 
Silas' advice. Albeit Colton. Alice in the hands of her enemies. 

ACT II. Alice a prisoner in Old Mag's home. Arrival ol 
Joe. Old Mag's temper. Joe tells Alice he is determined t© make 
her his wife. No love, but a fortune. Arrival of the priest. "Fire I 
fire ! fire !" Eescue of Alice by Harvey Danton. Silas and Maude-, 
His narrow escape. Arrest of Albert and Joe. 

ACT III. One year later. Ike Dame escapes from the peni- 
tentiary. News of his death. Interview between Maude and Silas. 
Bob goes to market. Ike alive. The mystery explained. Any- 
thing for revenge. Attempt to burn Danton's house. Death of Ike 
and Joe. Bob satisfied. Happy ending. Price 15 cents each. 



A Farce in I. ACT. Only 7 characters needed — 5 
male and 2 female — which are all good. It will make a 
good after-piece ; or, suitable for a short evening's enter- 
tainment. Time of performance, 50 minutes. Price 15 
cents a copy. 

The Printer and His Devils. 

Original Farce in I. ACT. Now this is what you 
want. The best thing ever written on the printers. Only 
4 characters are needed — three males and one female — ■ 
Order a copy at once. Time of performance 15 minutea. 
Price 15 gqhU each, 



— WJ THEATRICAL &&*- 

AND FANCY COSTUME WIGS 



"JS^-EL 

Attention is called to this list of "WIGS, BEARDS, MUS- 
TACHES, 'WHISKERS, &c. 



We employ a wig-maker especially to manufacture goods for our trade 

and can guarantee satisfaction. All goods made 

under our personal supervision. 



In ordering be careful to state every particular, i. e. size, color, etc. 
special character or occasion can be made to order. 

-r—TlQFr^ 



Any wig for 



White Old Man $4.50 

Iron Gray 4.51) 

Yankee 4.50 

Irish 4.50 

Crop [all colors] 4.50 

Fright 5.00 

Negro Hi) 

" [white old man] 1.50 

" [grey " ] 1.50 

" [with top knot] 1.50 

" [wench] 5.00 

Sir Peter Teazle 5.00 

Shylock 4.50 

Court Wig with Bag 4.50 

Tie 4.50 

Paul Pry 4.50 

Dundreary 5.50 

Light Dress Wig, with parting 5.50 

Rough Irishman , 4.00 

Flaxen Country Boy 3.50 

Physician or Lawyer [white] 5.00 

Dress Wig with Eyebr'ws & Whisk'rs 5.50 

Dress, without parting 4.00 

Duplex; can be worn either as a male 
or female Wig; very convenient; in 

reality 2 Wigs in 1 6.00 

Flow Wigs, Long Hair, suitable for 
most Shakesperian characters, Fairy 
Plays, &c 5.50 



Dress Scalp, with parting $5.00 

Scalps 2.75 

Gentlemanly Irish, with parting 5.00 

Bald Wigs, Grev or White 4.50 

Rip Van Winkle 4.50 

Grev Dress Wig, with parting 4.50 

White " " " 4.50 

Clowns, in colors 4.50 

Pantaloon, Wig and Beard 5.00 

Robinson Crusoe 4.50 

Monk 4.00 

Box and Cox, 2 Wigs, each Wig 3.50 

Chinaman, with Pigtail 5.00 

Dress Wig, superior 5.00 

Red and Brown Bald Wigs 4.50 

LADIES. 

Court Wig 6.50 

Gmnd Duchess 0.50 

Lady Teazle 7.00 

Marie Antoinette 7.50 

Mother-m-Law 5.50 

Female, plain, Long Hair, so that lady 
can do up as she wishes, a really tine 

Wig 10.00 

Nigger Crape Masks, a substitute for 

blacking the face 2.00 

Ladies' Wigs, Blonde, Light and Dark 
Brown and Black, made up in pres- 
ent fashion ; C.00 



Comic Old Woman's Front Piece $2 50. 

BEARDS, WHISKERS, MUSTACHES, &c. 



Side Whiskr's & M'stache on wire $1.25 

Side Whiskers and Mustache, on 

wire, superior 1.50 

Side Whiskers, no Mustache, wire 1.00 

Side AVhiskers & Mustache, Gauze 2.00 

Side Whiskers and Mustache, on 

gauze, superior 2.25 

Side Whiskers, without Mustache, 

on gause 1.50 

Side AVhiskers. without Mustache, 

on gauze, superior 1.75 

Full Beard 1.75 

" " superior 2.00 



Full Beard without Mustache 1.50 

Full Beard, no Mustache, superior 1.75 

Mustache and Chin Beard, combined.. 2.00 

Imperials 30 

Full Chin Beard 1.25 

Mustaches on wire 35 

" gauso 40 

CRAPE HAIR— For making False 
Whiskers, Mustaches, &c. 
Colors— Black, White, Light Brown, 
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Price per yard 20 



Address 



A. D.AMES, PUB'R, 



LOCK BOX 102. 



CLYDE, OHIO. 



PUG AND THE BABY. 

A farce-comedy in one act, 5 male and 3 female char- 
acters. This is a capital farce, consisting of light comedy, 
easy acting, racy dialogue, funny situations, comical busi- 
ness — characters all good. Order a copy and see how 
much trouble a Pug and a Baby can make in a house. 
Price 15 cents. 

TRIALS 

OF A COUNTRY EDITOR. 

ORIGINAL SKETCH. 

A country editor's office, whose trouble with a - ' 
woman suffragist, peddler, etc., make the sketch 
amusing. Time of performance about 30 minul. 
male and 7 female characters. 



Prof. JamBs' 

Experience Teaching a Country SchooL 

ORIGINAL SKETCH. 
A very amusing little comedy, giving the trials and 
troubles of teaching in the country. Order a copy and 
read it, and find out for yourself the professor's troubles. 
4 males, 3 females, and scholars. Price of both of the 
above 15 cents each. 

FAMILY JARS. 

A Musical Farce in Two Acts. Five male and two 
female characters needed. Costumes easily obtained and 
the different characters all extra good. It lias been per- 
formed in all the large cities. Time of performance forty 
minutes. Price 15 cents. 



y iNoi^JiODr's Mi lie, 

A Farce in One Act. Six characters needed — three 
male and three female. Agood plot and easily broaght 
out by amateurs. Time thirty minutes. Price 15 cents. 



Dutch Jake; or, True Blue. 

A Drama in 3 Acts, tor 4 uiaEe ami 3 female character*. 

SYNOPSIS. 

ACT I. Home of Major Fay in Virginia — Iron mines — Mrs. Fay 
and the Major do not agree — Maude Allen, the waif, finds a home — 
Harry Thurle and Ella Fay — The proposal — Henry Crinley, agent 
for mining company — Jake Schneider "a fresh arrival." — The sale. 
Five thousand dollars missing — Jake accused — "I tinks I peen der 
cock of der valk!" 

ACT II. Jake and Ella — Harry Thurle missing — Jake, "I vill 
finds him pooty quick now!" — Crinley and Ella — Jake protects 
Ella — The goose pond — Maude tells Major Fay of Crinley's treach- 
ery — Plan to abduct Ella, frustrated by Maude — Jake Schneider's 
dream and rescue of Harry — Ella leaves home — Crinley discovers 
Maude, his wife — Shows his hand — Jake appears and prevents 
minder — "I peen not afraid of dot cowyard man !" — Major Fay and 
Crinley— The insult — Kettle of hot water — Jake on deck. 

ACT III. Crinley and Major Fay — The vigilance committee — 
Harry and the pocker-book — Maude Allen's story — Storm — A dark 
night's work — An attempt to murder Major Fay — Crinley shoots 
and wounds Harry — Jake shoots Crinley — His dying confession — 
Maude finds a brother in Harry — Dutch Jake, and happy ending. 



A Drama in 3 Acts, for 10 male and 3 female characters. 

SYNOPSIS. 

ACT I. Scene 1st. — School-house — Penn and Carl — The threat — 
Foot-race between Carl, Dan and Jim — Penn's defense — "Hang 
him! hang him!" — Carl to the rescue — Tar and feathers. Scene 
2d. — Interview between Sprowland Bythewood. Scene 3d. — Toby — 
Virginia and her father — Toby frightened — "De debble will git me, 
suah!" — Arrival of Penn — Toby — "I'se a master nan' to pick 
geese!" — Gus Bythewood, his Southern sentiments — Salina — "I am 
not a rebel !" — Mrs. SprowJ, the "lone widder," interviews Penn. 
Mr. Villars threatened — Virginia intercedes — "We'll give the 
Yankee three days to leave the country." — Carl and Dan — "They 
mean to kill Penn" — Escape of Penn. 

ACT II. Scene 1st. — Penn about to be hung — "Death, rather 
than a rebel!" — Carl saves Penn, by enlisting — Arrest of Mr. Vil- 
lars and Stackridge — Virginia discovers Bythewood's treachery. 
Scene 2nd. — Prisoners in the guard-house — The secret passage — Carl 
on guard — Escape of prisoners with Carl. Scene 3d. — Home of the 
Villars — Toby's opinion — Virginia missing — Lysander and Salina — 
"Terrible news" — Toby as a bootjack — "Toby shall not be whipped'" 
"Fire I fire!" 

ACT III. Scene 1st.— Lysander and Silas— A plan to compel 
Mrs. Stackridge to reveal the cave where her husband is— Scene 2nd. 
Mrs. Sprowl, the "lone widder" visits Mrs. Stackridge's home — 
arrival of Dan and Jim, who mistake her for Mrs. Stackridge— the 
whipping — Lysander arrives — "Scoundrels, you have whipped my 
mother!" Scene 3d. — Carl and Toby prisoners— Carl saves Toby a 
whipping — Carl leads the way to the cave. Scene 4th. — Cave — 
Penn and Virginia — Carl and Toby, with Lysander a prisoner — Es- 
cape of Lysander, and attempt to capture party at cave — Repulse 
nnd victory— Death of Bythewood and Lysander— Passport to the 
V firth. 



PUBLICATIONS 

OF THE — 



H National |®1 SgIlddI 



Elocution 



DP 



Oratory. 



Child's Own Speaker. This book is adapted for children of 
five years of age and contains a collection of Recitations, Motion 
Songs, Concert Pieces, Dialogues and Tableaux, for the very little 
children of five 5 r ears and thereabouts. 100 pieces attractively bound 
in paper, 15c ; boards, 25 cents. 

Little People's Speaker. Adapted to children of ten years of 
age, and suited to every occasion in which the little folks are called 
upon to take part. 100 pages, attractively bound, 15 cts; boards, 25c. 

Young Folks' Recitations. Adapted to young people of fif- 
teen years, in Numbers 1 and 2, and contains Readings, Recitations, 
Dialogues and Tableaux. Paper binding, each number, 15c ; 
boards. 25 cents. 

Little People's Dialogues. Everything original and written 
specially for this book by Clara J. Denton for children of ten years 
of age. All the dialogues being prepared specially for this book in- 
sures for them a freshness seldom found in publications of this class. 
Handsomely engraved cover with 120 pages; paper binding, 25 cts. 

Young Folks' Dialogues. These dialogues are suited to young 
people of fifteen years ot age, and are adapted to every form of pub- 
lic and private entertainment. Everything new and original in 
120 pages, attractively bound. Paper binding, 25 cts; boards, 40c. 

Young Folks' Entertainments. These entertainments consist 
of Motion Songs, Charades, Tableaux, Dialogues Concert Recita- 
tions, Motion Pieces, etc., by C. G. and L. -i. Rook. Absolutely 
new and original. Bound in an appropriately engraved cover with 
115 pages. Two pretty drills, for fun and tambourine, modeled after 
the famous broom brigade are great features in this work. Paper 
binding, 25 cents. 

My Country. An exercise for the celebration of the Fourth of 
July. This exercise, having for its basis the promotion of good 
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With these simple elements an exercise has been compiled, which 
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Choice Dialogues for School and Social Entertainment. En- 
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send orders u Ames' Publishing Company^ Clydei 0hio 



V 



ilmes' Plays — Continued. 



no. ■ 

FABCES AND COMEDISTTAS. 



129 

132 

12 

166 

30 

169 

80 

78 

65 

31 

21 

123 

20 

175 

8 

86 

22 

84 

225 

49 

72 

19 

42 

188 

220 

148 

218 

224 

233 

154 

184 

274 

209 

13 

66 

271 

116 

120 

103 

50 
140 
74 
35 
47 
95 
11 
99 
82 
182 
127 
228 
106 
139 
231 
235 
69 
158 
23 
208 
212 
32 



Aar-u-ag-oos _' 2 

Actor and Servant _ 1 

A Capital Match 3 

ATexan Mother-in-Law 4 

A Day Well Spent....; 7 

A Regular Fix _ 2 

Alarmingly Suspicions.... .... 4 

An Awful Criminal 3 

An Unwelcome Return 3 

A Pet of the Public 4 

A Romantic Attachment 3 

A Thrilling Item 3 

A Ticket of Leave _ 3 



Betsey Baker 2 2 

Better Half 5 2 

Black vs. White - 4 2 

Captain Smith - 3 3 

Cheek Will Win _ 3 

Cupids Capers 4 4 

Der Two Surprises 1 1 

Deuce is in llini.. 5 1 

Did. Dream it 4 3 

Domestic Felicity 1 1 

Dutch Prize Fighter- 3 

Dutchy vs. Nigger 3 

Eh? W. at Did You Say 3 1 

Everybody Astonished 4 

Fooling with the Wrong Man 2 1 

Freezing a Mother-in-Law... 2 1 

Fun in a Post Office 4 2 

Family Discipline 1 

Family Jars „ 5 2 

Goose with the Golden Eggs- 5 3 

Give Me My Wife 3 3 

Hans the Dutch J. P 3 1 

Hans Urummel's Cafe _ 5 

Hash 4 2 

H. M.S. Plum 1 1 

How Sister Paxey got her 

Child Baptiz d 2 1 

How She has Own Way 1 3 

How He Popped the Quest'n. 1 1 

How t« Tame M-in-Law 4 2 

How Stout Vour Getting 5 2 

In the Wrong Box 3 

In the Wrong Clothes 5 3 

John Smith 5 3 

Jumbo Jum - 4 3 

Killing Time 1 1 

Kittie's Wedding Cake 1 3 

Liok Skillet Wedding- 2 2 

Lauderbach's Little Surprise 3 

Lodgings for Two _ 3 

Matrimonial Bliss „ 1 1 

Match for a Mother-in-Law_ 2 2 

More Blunders than one 4 3 

Mother's Fool „ 6 1 

Mr. Hudson's Tiger Hunt.... 1 1 

My Heart's in Highlands 4 3 

\ y Precious Betsey 4 4 

My Turn Next 4 3 

My Wife's Relations i 4 



HO. 

186 
273 

44 
244 

33 
246 

67 
217 
165 
195 
258 
159 
171 
180 
267 

48 
138 
115 

55 
243 
232 
238 
270 
1 
137 

40 
245 

38 
131 
101 
167 

68 

54 
253 

28 
142 
276 
263 
7 
269 
213 
151 

56 

70 
13* 
147 
155 

111 
157 

204 

15 

172 

98 

222 

214 

145 

190 

249 

27 

230 

153 



My Day and Now-*- Days 

My Neighbor's Wife 3 

Obedience , 1 

Old Clothes „ 3 

On the Sly 3 

Othello 4 

Paddy Miles' Boy- 5 

Patent Washing Machine 4 

Persecuted Dutchman _ 6 

Poor Pilicody 2 

Prof. Bones 'Latest Invention 5 

Quiet Family 4 

Rough Diamond „ _ 4 

Ripples _ _. _ 2 

Room 44 2 

Sehnaps _ _ 1 

Sewing Circle of Period 

S. H. A. M. Pinafore 3 

Somebody's Nobody 3 

Sports on a Lark 3 

Stage Struck Yankee 4 

Strawberry Shortcake- 2 

Slick and Skinner 5 

Slasher and Crasher 5 

Taking the Census 1 

Th it Mysterious B'dle _ 2 

Ticket Taker .,.. 3 

The Bewitched Closet '.. 5 

The Cigarette 4 

The Coming Man 3 

Turn Him Out 3 

The Sham Professor 4 

The Two T. J's _. _ 4 

The BestCure _ 4 

Thirty-tffree Next Birthday- 4 

Tit for Tat 2 

The Printer and His Devils.. 3 
Trials of a Country Editor.... 6 
The Wonderful Telephone.... 3 

Unjust Justice 6 

Vermont Wool Dealer 5 

Wanted a Husband _ 2 

Wooing Under Difficulties— . 5 
Which will he Marry 2 



Widower's Trials 

Waking Him Up.. 



4 
1 
Why they Joined the Re- 
beccas „ - __ 

Yankea Duelist— 3 

Yankee Peddler _ 7 

ETHIOPIAN FARCES. 

Academy of Stars 8 

An Unhappy Pair _ 1 

Black Shoemaker _ 4 

Black Statue...:. «... 4 

Colored Senators 3 

Chops- — „^... 3 

Cuff's Luck „ — 2 

Crimps Trip -. 5 

Double Election - 9 

Fetter Lane to Gravesend...- 2 

Hamlet the Dainty 

Haunted House - Z 



Si. 



Sb 



V 




016 102 635 9 



Ames' Plays — GantinuBii. 



no. "~ *• »■ 

ETHIOPIAN FABOES-OONT'UED. 



24 

236 

247 

77 

88 

256 

128 

259 

90 

61 

234 

150 

109 

134 

177 

96 

107 

133 

179 

94 

25 

92 

241 

10 

64 

252 

122 



Handy Andy _ - 2 

Hypochondriac The 2 

Incompatibility of Temper... 1 2 

Joe's Vis t - ~ 2 1 

Mischievous NUger ~ 4 2 

Midnight Colic 2 1 

Musical Darkey - 2 

Nobody's Moke ..... 5 2 

No Cure No Pay 3 1 

Not as Deaf as He Seems 3 

Old Dad's Cabin 2 1 

OldPompey 1 1 

Other People's Children 3 2 

Pomp's Pranks - 2 

Quarrelsome Servants 3 

Rooms to Let - — 2 1 

School ~- - 5 

Seeing Bosting— ...._ _~ 3 

Sham Doctor ........ 3 3 

16,000 Years Ago „ 3 

Sport with a Sportsman 2 

Stage Struck Darkey —.... 2 1 

Struck by Lightning ,«2 2 

Stocks Up, Stooks Down- 2 

That Boy Sam 3 1 

That Awful Carpet Bag 3 3 

The Select School.. _ 6 



no. u. r. 

118 The Popcorn Man 3 1 

6 The Studio- .. »_ 3 

108 Those Awful Boys 5 

4 Twain '8 Dodging 3 1 

197 Tricks-. 5 2 

198 Uncle Jeff 5 2 

170 U. S. Mail _ 2 2 

216 Vice Versa 3 1 

206 Villkens and Dinah 4 1 

210 Virginia Mummy 6 1 

203 Who Stole the Chickens 1 1 

205 William Tell 4 

156 Wig-Maker and His Servant* 3 

GUIDE BOOKS. 



17 Hints on Elocution. 
130 Hints to Amateurs.. 



CANTATA. 

215 On to Victory 

TABLEAUX. 

250 Festival of Days 

PANTOMIME. 
260 Cousin John's Album.. 



4 6 



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ETC., ETC. 

AT VERY LITTLE COST, AND WILL BE SURE TO 
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-**4 PRICE 50 CENTS PER OUNCE. ****- 

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LOCK BOX 15t. CLYDE, OHIO 

rh ! rfi 



